How to (Not) Drive Yourself Crazy as an Author

For the past several weeks I've felt a little like a flower girl at a wedding--except instead of petals I'm tossing around ARCs, review requests, blog tour requests, swag.

The best/worst part of all this buzz is the feedback that has started rolling in. Not that feedback is new, I've been asking for and receiving great feedback throughout the entire writing process. But this feedback is different, because I can't use it for anything constructive. The book is what it is. Take it or leave it. And for the most part the feedback has been wonderful. (Sniff. Thank you. =)

But as happy as feedback can make an author, it can also drive that same author crazy. For instance, a couple of days ago I was chatting with my hairdresser about ExtraNormal (Do I ever chat about anything else? I think not.) She was very excited about it, until she asked, "Does it have any violence?" I had to think about that one. It's mostly a romance, and a tame one at that, but there are a couple of action scenes that get pretty intense. "I can't read it then," she said. "I've given up all violence in movies, tv, and books. It gives me nightmares."

I had to respect that. I certainly don't want to be the cause of her nightmares. But the funny part was that not an hour later I saw a comment from a reader wishing the book had more action and less romance. Hmmm. One can wish, yes. Except that it is a romance. Perhaps if I took out all action and romance? Uh. no.

Do you see the seed of insanity being planted in my little brain?

Honestly neither of those comments were out of the ordinary. I just found them a prime example of the dilemma an author faces on a regular basis.

So here's the important thing to remember as both a reader and an author who is trying to retain his/her sanity: there is literally no book in the world that pleases everyone. Really. Not a one. Even the huge best-sellers aren't for everyone. And it's often not the book that's at fault. A book that is considered boring by one reader can be inspirational for another. A book with too much violence for one can be too romantic for another.

A lot of that has to do with expectations. Usually, what a negative review is really saying is, "This book didn't meet my expectations. I wasn't what I thought it would be when I purchased it." What was wrong could be bad writing or major plot holes or something that can really kill a book. But it's just as likely to be that it just doesn't suit the reader's taste. They wanted action and got romance.

Which leads me to an author's sanity. When I'm in the writing mode, I carefully consider every bit of feedback. I don't always use it, but I'm always grateful to anyone willing to read a rough manuscript and share their thoughts. And I always contemplate whether I can use their comments to strengthen the manuscript.

The problem with this kind of feedback is that it can be completely stifling to an author. Changing up a story time and time again in order to please every set of eyes that reads it can result in a literal never-ending and muddled story. At some point you just have to say 'enough' and come to terms with the fact that this is your story and it's never going to satisfy every reader.

When the book is finally complete, the best an author can do is make sure the marketing (title, cover, blurb) match the contents, in order to avoid disappointed readers. Your best chance at good reviews (besides having a polished book) is making sure the reader who picks up your book knows what to expect. That is, if you even have a say in those things. (Most publishers take care of that themselves.)

And after that?
1. Thick skin is a must.
2. Don't take anything personally -- whether a review is good or bad, it's about a book, not you. Yes, the book came out of your brain, but it is a separate entity from you.
3. Remember that one person's negative is another's positive.

And if all else fails buy a bumper sticker that says, "My imaginary friends are better than your imaginary friends" and call it good.