Howard Jacobson: Old age is coming, but where are my carers?

So at what age should you start salting money away for carers? You hope, of course, that all those on whom you've showered love will gather round at the last to shower it back, but what if you haven't showered all that much, or what if you would much rather, anyway, have strangers deal with the gibbering, dribbling satire on yourself you've been reduced to?