Atonement or Abyss
Facing what holds the ultimate power and becoming fearless…
In this part of the monomyth we’ve struggled through a lot of things and it doesn’t feel like we want to struggle any longer. But we need to be this weary in the journey to frankly - not care anymore.
…Because in our moment of reckless disarray we end up facing the thing we fear the most.
For many of us when we get weary, we don’t think as well as we should, things get more frightening than they ought to be, and that can lead to some poor decision making.
However, sometimes this atrocious decision making can work in our favor - when we’re forced to face the things which frighten us the most. In this weary place, we can let our emotions out because we have no other choice. We can’t hold things together anymore because we’re just too stinkin’ tired of all the BS - and we face the thing that we are the most frightened of.
In ancient mythology the things that terrified people were all powerful father figures (who may or may not be good at parenting), and death. For those who have experience trauma - the most terrifying thing is the trauma incident.
When trauma occurs it messes with our logical brains and we go into survival mode, because we don’t need a logical brain. But this embeds the memories in a different way. Trauma overloads and breaks brains. Putting the pieces back together often means facing the big ugly of whatever broke us.
But this is also an atonement.
If you’re from a religious background, you’ve probably heard of atonement. But forget all that. I want to teach you something different.
Atonement is putting the pieces back together.
Revenge relies on us to go after and do something against the person who hurt us.
But revenge relies on the other person. It relies on the wrongdoer’s punishment to fulfill the victim.
Atonement is the coming together of the conflicting pieces in an effort to do good against the wrong.
This does not mean you forgive the wrongdoer. It means you are taking what is wrong and broken, gathering up the pieces and putting yourself back together.
This atoning restoration is the opposite of revenge.
In revenge - you are the victim. You are relying on the other person to be punished for their wrongdoing against you.
In atonement - you are the victor. You are relying on yourself to do better than what has happened to you.
This never means that it’s easy. But as you put the pieces of yourself back together, you will find yourself facing the trauma. And facing that, bit by bit - you will bring yourself to a more powerful place… because it wasn’t fun, but you won.
With atonement, you will become more powerful than your trauma. Your trauma won’t be able to hold you captive any longer.
A few reminders in this process…
You never have to go through this alone. (And you shouldn’t - there are mental health counselors available.)
Your pieces are in the past.
Your emotions are not good or bad. They’re just emotions.
Emotions may feel deadly, but generally they’re not. They’re just emotions.
You don’t have to pick up all the pieces all at once.
And last, you will be more powerful than what broke you into pieces.
If you want to see this in story action… You can read a section of Red Trouble on Wattpad, or pre-order it on Amazon. It will be available in ebook and paperback April 18 (2023).
World War II soldiers and Holocaust survivors Hawk Morrison and Karina Sokolov struggle with the evils that broke them into pieces… and you’ll get to see how the quest to get their children home makes them stronger as a couple, because it forces them to confront their brokeness, put the pieces back together and accomplish their goals, fulfill their needs and return to relationship with each other.
Perpetual Disclaimer for this series:
I am not a counselor or a mental health professional. I am going to attempt to avoid things which will cause alarm or harm, but I can't know what will trigger each individual. If you need to speak to a mental health professional please know that there are resources available.
Your stories are amazing!
Chronic Writer
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