The Laundry Basket at the End of the Universe

WARNING: I am legally obligated to issue a TMI warning for the paragraph that follows. Unfortunately, it is germane to the story so, artistically, it needs to be included. I will, however, make it as brief and painless as possible:

The other day, I was getting ready for bed. I took off my underwear, dropped it on the floor, and put on my pyjamas. When I went to put my underwear in the laundry basket, however, it was gone.

(I hope that image isn’t seared into your retinas.)

*** This ends...