Problems Initiating Sex

Last week I got an email from a reader who wanted help figuring out how to initiate sex with her boyfriend. She explained that he always starts things up and she felt bad about that. But her desire to make things a bit more equal in the relationship was coming into conflict with her own feelings of shame around sex, which makes it hard for her to imagine taking up sexual space in a way that would allow her to initiate sex.

There's a paradox (or maybe it's a riddle, or a conundrum, I'm not sur...