That’s that, then

I was really worried about mum’s funeral. Fretfully so. It’s not because I was giving the eulogy. I have learned to see any public speaking commitment as an opportunity. And giving mum’s eulogy was a chance to let everyone know what a wonderful person she was and what I felt about her. So it wasn’t that. I guess some of it was the fact that it was mum’s funeral. But that should have made me sad, not fretful. I think it was about the choices I’d made about her send off. Was a crem service the right thing to do? Did we have the right mix of speakers? Were the hymns right? How many people would come? Was the wake (tea, wine, sandwiches and cake) the right choice? In short, was I giving her the send off she deserved?

we cleaned and sold some stuff

The thing was, it was just me making the decisions. Sure C’s always by my side and she’s very good at adding class into something which would otherwise be an Essex fest. But I was the one making the decisions. There is/was only one Ladley left in this family. Just me. And it worried me. In the end, though, it was just fabulous. (And I would have told you if it hadn’t been, I think). There were over 60 people there, a fab mix between all of the lives she touched – Army, village, Golf, family. And it had a lovely, homely weight to it. And the wake was just right too. What relief!

(Oh, and Kevin’s girls turned up – Grace read a poem – and afterwards the four of us went to Clacton to throw Kevin’s ashes off the end of the pier … which was closed, but the two girls fluttered their eyelashes at a security guard and we were in position moments later, doing the business with the backdrop of a glorious sunset.)

cheerio Kevin

Subsequently we spent three days sorting out the house. It was more of the same. Charity shops, the British Heart Foundation came around again, we did multiple trips to the dump to get rid of the recycling … and a massive skip turned up on Tuesday, which we quickly filled. We got the cleaners in on Wednesday and left on Thursday for home with just four bits of furniture unsold. Everything else is gone. It’s such a relief. 

Now we’re back home, and it’s fab. I’ve completed probate for mum’s estate and we’ve dispatched the will to the appropriate office. There’s been some other admin, but I think we can put mum on hold for now.  

And we’ve done lots of stuff. Car and Doris cleaned – we next expect to go away the van in May, hopefully Scotland for a month or so. We saw Jen and James and we’ve been kicking around the house, sorting more stuff out. I’ve taken on responsibility for clearing out a lot of kit around P&K’s estate. They have a number of lockups which have accumulated all manner of work and domestic gear which they’d like rid of. It’s given me a purpose and the weather has, at last, improved. So it’s great to be outside and making a difference. FB marketplace, Gumtree and eBay are the first port of call. I think a couple of skips might be needed later in the summer. And I’m also selling stuff of ours, and some gear we brought back from mum’s. You never know, it might become a business?

Scrub, scrub

On reflection, mum’s death hasn’t really hit me yet. Back here, now, with Mrs Sun doing her thing washing over us like a biological all-in-one conditioner, it’s very easy to forget the recent past. Maybe that’s it, though. Maybe after her stroke in 2012 when I said cheerio to her three times, there’s emotion left? Maybe. Anyhow, rest in peace, mum.

Keep safe everyone. Out to supper tonight with Daren and Karen in Chepstow. There will be plenty of motorhome/Hymer talk. Hurrah! 

Ester cometh