The Press Guardian #13
David Michael Newstead | The Philosophy of Shaving
“Gentlemen! Gentlemen! Please!” The moderator yelled, struggling to restore order during their heated exchange.
In front of her stood two presidential candidates in crisp suits, shouting over one another, while the audience looked on at the spectacle. At one podium was the incumbent, President Alexander Krebtz, leader and founder of the New National Dream. On the other side of the stage was his challenger, retired General Theodore Thurber, the consensus candidate of a dozen opposition parties united in their hatred of Krebtz. But tonight’s debate, like the entire campaign, had been anarchy from the start. Accusations flew back and forth. The two men barely stayed on the same topic for more than thirty seconds. And watching all of it unfold from the packed press pool was an anxious Perry Chase and Cynthia Blake.
“General Thurber’s globalist stance is extremist and elitist! It hurts our economy. It destroys our culture,” Krebtz declared, “And what would you have done, General?! You would turn our whole country into nothing but a refugee camp! You would tear down our great cathedrals and replace them with mosques! Our nation would be forever corrupted and the average Yaharzan would become jobless, a stranger in his own homeland! All while the immoral lifestyles that you promote undermine families and any hope of population growth!”
“That… that is ridiculous. No one is talking about tearing down cathedrals,” Thurber interjected, “This is exactly what I’ve been saying all evening. Spreading this kind of misinformation… these falsehoods… it’s irresponsible. It’s prejudiced!”
Krebtz was electrified in his response, “It’s no falsehood. It’s a fact. A fact! You, General Thurber, are part of a cosmopolitan conspiracy to dismantle our country. While you stood by doing nothing, there was an invasion at the border. Today, our towns are besieged by filthy migrants. And that is a dereliction of duty that the voters should never forgive!”
The president continued with wild hand gestures, bending his fingers in the air until he formed a fist. “You seek to emasculate the nation! To neuter us! Castrating Yaharzan manhood, leaving us weak and defenseless against an ever multiplying foreign horde!”
Amid the chaos, Perry Chase thought back to the last election. Six years earlier, Krebtz was a more modest figure, a supposedly conventional politician who promised law-and-order. Today, he was an angry, conspiracy spouting madman intent on staying in power at any cost. That transformation was hard to comprehend and even more difficult for Perry to witness firsthand. Yet, it was unmistakably happening. For a second, Cynthia and Perry traded concerned glances as Krebtz’s rhetoric drowned out the voice of the veteran statesman across from him.
“I’m not anti-anything…” Krebtz said, retorting to his opponent’s description, “I’m pro-native born citizen! Pro-western civilization! Pro-manhood! But above all, I am pro-nation! I support protecting our beautiful and pristine natural environment from the perverts and outsiders who are degrading it. Today, I’m proud of our work. My administration is building a strong bedrock of national values. And our prosperity depends on our success.”
General Thurber then launched into an impassioned indictment of Krebtz’s time in office: attacks on freedom of expression, religion, assembly, freedom of the press, freedoms online, and academic freedom, targeting LGBTQ people, attempts to disenfranchise minorities, rolling back protections for women and workers, the unending stream of corruption allegations, suspicious links to organized crime, spreading misinformation, inflammatory rhetoric, and increasingly repressive tactics.
“My opponent has a very old-fashioned idea of what freedom means and perhaps that’s what’s behind his unpatriotic remarks…” Krebtz replied, “I think it’s rather narrow-minded and frankly prejudiced of my critics to fixate on petty, self-absorbed, individual liberties like that’s the only consideration. Instead, I support something larger than myself. I support true freedom! The rights of families, of communities, and, most importantly, the rights of our great nation that has been under attack by radical degenerates! We declare independence from oppressive international organizations that seek to erase our traditions and to colonize us. To enslave us! We strive for freedom from the elites and the intellectuals, from foreign influence, and the immoral decadence eating away at the very foundations of our country. That is the freedom that I hold most dear and I will never stop fighting for it!”
Applause filled the auditorium from the floor to the highest rafters. And the debate soon ended where it began – with the most vocal members of the audience insulting each other until they were literally pulled apart. Police and members of Special Office guarded key sections of the building as the two candidates waved to their supporters, then quickly left. Cynthia was scrolling through social media on her phone when she realized that excerpts of Krebtz’s speech had almost instantly been converted into inspirational-style memes by his supporters. I support true freedom! I support the president! the pictures proclaimed.
Cynthia turned to show Perry. Just then, the pundit and former journalist Andrew Andrewson brushed passed the two of them with his camera crew.
“Excuse me,” he said, then got into position for live coverage, “That’s right, Michael. A very strong performance tonight by the president. The crowds here were energetic, enthusiastic, and I think President Krebtz won over a lot of viewers with his defense of values and national sovereignty…”
“Ugh,” Cynthia said to Perry, “This guy makes me fucking nauseous. Let’s go. We’ve got more work to do anyway.”
Fractured Opposition Parties Rally Around Retired General in the Upcoming Election
By Cynthia Blake | The Daily Review-Express
Amidst a diminished and divided opposition, the statesman Theodore Thurber has achieved a minor miracle. He’s corralled a dozen warring factions. He’s outmaneuvered prominent rivals and sidelined the rising star, David Yancy Felix, to become the contender who could unseat President Alexander Krebtz. Helped along by his decades of personal connections in business and government, Thurber has built an impressive coalition from across the political spectrum, rallying voters behind his vision of a different direction for the country. Congenial and certainly less divisive than President Krebtz, Thurber has accomplished one other feat that’s seemed unimaginable in recent years. He has revived hopes not only in the viability of Yaharza’s opposition, but in the promise of our democracy itself. FOLLOW LIVE ELECTION UPDATES
