Summer in April
Summer came early yesterday, with soaring temperatures and nary a cloud in sight. It's a bit unfair when this happens in April, since I am just not ready. My feet need severe attention, meaning I have to give them a pedicure to go and get a pedicure, just maybe I need to shave my legs, and my skin is fishbelly white.
Sooooo, that means it is time to dig out the self-tanner stuff. I'm a self-tanner pro; it goes with the territory of being the Palest Woman in the World. I know how to avoid the dreaded orange palm syndrome and achieve a good line of demarcation on my arms. Of course, I don't aim to look tanned, you understand. No, my goal is to appear "Somewhat Normal."
You forgot to - oh, I'll just be over there.
Good stuff comes with early summer too, though, and you know what I'm talking about:
1. Sprinklers, see Running Through - Watching your kid do this is one of the best things you can get for free.
2. Those popsicles with two sticks - Orange flavor for me, just so I can get that weird looking tongue. (Blue is too obvious.) And let's not even start with the Ice Cream Truck, aka Kid's Major Begging Potential.
3. Open windows - As long as it's not too hot, I'm going to open my windows and get as much fresh air as possible. Until that pollen wave comes along, of course.
4. BBQ'ed Food - Time for burgers and dogs and foil wrapped fish on the grill! Ever bake a potato on there? I swear, they're so good you don't need butter. And once one neighbor starts, the smell makes everyone else grill too. It's like dominoes.
which leads to...
5. Eating outside - The sun! The breeze! The fun! The flies!
6. Squirting each other with a hose when you are supposed to be washing a car - (self-explanatory.)
7. Eyeing up the pool wistfully - and then going back to the hose.
8. Flip-flops - I really, really have to get that pedicure.
9. Tree frogs - Who is the person who works the switch that turns those suckers on when the temperature hits a certain level?
10. Fresh corn and tomatoes - They're nearly here!
11. Time to plant those sunflower seeds - so that, this year, my kid can grow the tallest plant in the world. Hey, it could happen!
12. And, out of the blue, one last random point - Last night I dreamed about hummingbirds. Does that mean anything significant? Maybe it was just cool for its own sake.
Dude - you ROCK
Time to go and drag out the aloe shaving cream and self-tanning lotion, but at least I'll be able to breathe fresh air as I suffer.
Sooooo, that means it is time to dig out the self-tanner stuff. I'm a self-tanner pro; it goes with the territory of being the Palest Woman in the World. I know how to avoid the dreaded orange palm syndrome and achieve a good line of demarcation on my arms. Of course, I don't aim to look tanned, you understand. No, my goal is to appear "Somewhat Normal."

Good stuff comes with early summer too, though, and you know what I'm talking about:
1. Sprinklers, see Running Through - Watching your kid do this is one of the best things you can get for free.

2. Those popsicles with two sticks - Orange flavor for me, just so I can get that weird looking tongue. (Blue is too obvious.) And let's not even start with the Ice Cream Truck, aka Kid's Major Begging Potential.
3. Open windows - As long as it's not too hot, I'm going to open my windows and get as much fresh air as possible. Until that pollen wave comes along, of course.
4. BBQ'ed Food - Time for burgers and dogs and foil wrapped fish on the grill! Ever bake a potato on there? I swear, they're so good you don't need butter. And once one neighbor starts, the smell makes everyone else grill too. It's like dominoes.

which leads to...
5. Eating outside - The sun! The breeze! The fun! The flies!
6. Squirting each other with a hose when you are supposed to be washing a car - (self-explanatory.)
7. Eyeing up the pool wistfully - and then going back to the hose.
8. Flip-flops - I really, really have to get that pedicure.

9. Tree frogs - Who is the person who works the switch that turns those suckers on when the temperature hits a certain level?
10. Fresh corn and tomatoes - They're nearly here!
11. Time to plant those sunflower seeds - so that, this year, my kid can grow the tallest plant in the world. Hey, it could happen!
12. And, out of the blue, one last random point - Last night I dreamed about hummingbirds. Does that mean anything significant? Maybe it was just cool for its own sake.

Time to go and drag out the aloe shaving cream and self-tanning lotion, but at least I'll be able to breathe fresh air as I suffer.
Published on April 17, 2012 05:42
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