Template for your Empty Suit Press – Crazy Poet Press NaPoMo Contest Winning chapbook
Congrats! You have already WON!
You are the winner of the Empty Suit Press
Crazy Poet Press NaPoMo Writing Contest!
As April approaches, you will see more and more scamy offers from “Presses” encouraging you to join in the great “write-a-poem-a-day-for-the-month-of-April” challenge, and offering to publish your poems in a book.
The thing is, you will pay a small fortune for a book they will make no effort to sell to anyone but you.
So, Empty Suit Press has come up with a guaranteed winner contest that cuts out the middle man. You may wonder what we get out of it? Nothing, I just really hate scams, and especially scams targeted at poets and writers.
Here is the way the Empty Suit Press Guaranteed Winner Poetry Contest works:
Download the template attached here, write a poem every day, preferably one no longer than 30 lines and with no more than about 120 words (so they fit nicely on a ½ page of typing paper).
Then paste your poems into the template. (You might even find a free template on line somewhere that you like better, if so, use it.) either try printing it out on your home printer of take it to a print shop and have them print it for you. For about $60, you should end up with 20 or so copies. Give one to your mother! She will be you biggest fan, even if she thinks your poems are kinda weird (she may be rightJ…) give some to your friends, your 3rd grade teacher who either encouraged you or who said you could never be a published writer, keep a couple copies for yourself, and whenever you are feeling blue, remember, you are a published poet, a winner of the
International Empty Suit Press – Crazy Poet Press, NaPoMo Poetry Chapbook Contest!
You may use the empty Suit Press imprint, or the Crazy Poet Press one, or make up your own, or go look at some of my books if you can find them and steal the name of any press I have ever used, including Sleeping Bear Press, Falling Down Press, Barking dog in the window Press, Pine Planting Press, Iron and Steel Press, Lemonade Press… you are as legit as you wanna be!
And this scam only cost you $50-$100 in your own printing costs.
If you like, for $3, mostly to offset the hassle and the mailing costs, I will send you an official winner certificate from whichever press of mine you have selected, though I really think that is over doing it.
You can contact me at anthonyleewatkins@gmail.com if you have any questions, or want to buy something from me, though I am NOT trying to sell you anything!
If you are ever in the area of one of my poetry readings, please come. I spend about half my time reading my poems, and the other half talking about how poets can become better poets, and can become better known. Oh, by the way, I can be booked for events at a fairly reasonable rate.
To book me contact Suzanne Robinson at poetryawatkins@gmail.com
