Three Ways to Pull from Within to be Authentic and Real in Your Writing

Writers are often told to write what they know, but what does that actually mean? NaNo participant Najla gives tips on how to to be authentic in your writing.

I used pull in the title of this post because that’s what it felt like for me as a new writer to reach inside, yank out my pulsating heart, trudge up deep memories and conversations that I packed away, and be real in my writing.

Whatis being “real” in writing?

It can mean a lot of things to different people but for me, it means finding those raw, honest moments in my life that only I know and immersing those hidden things in my writing.

For many writers, we invite readers into our world to tell untold and interesting stories. We explore themes like hardships, struggle,inequality, conflict, misunderstandings, heartache, injustice,despair, growth, success, failure, and much more.

To add more depth to your stories and characters, consider leaning into your own experiences and past.

So, how can you use your personal life to be more real in your writing?

Start by asking yourself the following questions:

1. Have you ever felt or experienced hardship, struggle, misunderstanding, or failure?

Of course, you have. Pick a life experience and reflect on what led up to that event. What did you feel during it? How did you or someone else change because of it? Write that down.

2. What conversations were a part of these experiences?

Were they calm discussions, heated arguments, sobbing ugly cries, uncomfortable admissions, inconsiderate digs, or relentless back and forth comments? Write those down.

3. What were other people’s responses?

Did they face the challenge, endure, run away, make excuses, lie, betray themselves or others, move to another place, do something drastic, or go silent? Write all that down.

If you’re having trouble coming up with something, pause and reflect on the some of following relationships and people that may have come into your life:

A classmate in school who had it out for you or competed with youA teacher, coach, or mentor or adult who offered tough loveA friend or coworker or boss you parted ways withA distant or close sibling or cousin you disagreed withA disapproving family memberA person or relationship you grievedSomeone you relied on or who relied on you

A couple things to keep in mind:

1. Your characters don’t have to be anything like you to use this approach.

The goal is to make your writing more real, honest, and authentic. Most people, no matter what they believe or think, have had an unfulfilled relationship, a disappointing experience, or a major disagreement with someone in their lives.

2. You don’t have to apply the experience or conversation you had to the same situation for your character.

For example, your character may need to have a terrible argument with a sibling but you may draw from one that you had with a partner or spouse. But maybe a similar impetus can be used to start the argument. Perhaps the dialogue can draw from real words or phrases used. Or the resolution or lack of resolution may look and feel similar to what you experienced.

3. Your characters don’t have to have similar personalities or responses to you, but can be bothered by the things that get under your skin or bug you.

As an example, think about how you handle it when someone cuts you off in traffic or steps in front of you in a line. Do you sneer or curse or let the person glide in?

Literary agent, Kat Kerr, once said that common vernacular is not so common.

Vernacular is a reflection of your own background and experiences, use your life as a way to draw out some real intense and emotional moments in your writing.

Oh and don’t forget to share what you write with me!

Manager of projects by day: Lyrical bandit by night;

Mom of Two Cool Kids and a Corgi named Cookie.

Najla writes historical fiction about fascinating people in history because real life makes for the best fiction! Her current search history is filled with questions like “When was Chanel No. 5 invented?” and “When did the newsboysstop?”

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 Header Photo by Tran Le Tuan from Pexels