What if General Howe had defeated Washington “at the Brunx”?

…Washington this way, that, pious invoke meridian night, prayed nocturnal, be dilatory, a stillness unheard those climes before; a higher hand bid ocean slumber, winds be silent, billows mackerel, a misty curtain, drawn omnipotent arm; Aurora rose, amaz’d the English hero, his opponent on the opposite shore…
•Albion: In Twelve Books (1822).

Once upon a time the Founding Fathers kicked the British out of America and founded the United States and everyone was happy forever. The end.

ii. Of course, n...