Proofreading

Raise your hand if you think proofreading is a dying art.

Actual headlines …

• Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter … that is one talented murderer

• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says  … Good thing they called in an expert.

• Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers … that’ll stop ’em

• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over … very noble of him

• Miners Refuse to Work after Death … rest in peace

• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant … well, if Scared Straight doesn’t work, then they are just about out of options

• War Dims Hope for Peace … such Negative Nellies

• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile … yes, I think that might be correct

• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures … those crazy global warming nutjobs are at it again

• Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide … or was it Colonel Mustard?

• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges … must be some kind of Super Duct Tape – and it comes in designer colors. Sweet!

• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group … weren’t they fat enough?

• Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft … if he dealt it, then he should!

• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks … do they taste like chicken?

• Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half … they are strict there!

• Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors … because the ceilings were too low?

• Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead … Wait. What?

Got any more good ones?