"Hey Joe" TRANSLATED

NARRATOR: Good morrow to you, Joseph! I espy that you carry a wheel lock ��� prithee, whither thou goest? Oh, perchance you marked me not the first time, so I rehearse: I espy that you carry a wheel lock ��� prithee, whither thou goest? 

JOSEPH: I intend to dispatch my sweet, for I descried her being untrue.  And that is graceless.

[an indeterminate amount of time passes]

NARRATOR: Good morrow once again, Joseph. Word is that you discharged your wheel lock upon your sweet, deathfully goring her.

JOSEPH: That is correct, I deathfully gored her with my wheel lock for, as stated, I descried her being untrue and so I deathfully gored her with my wheel lock.

NARRATOR: Good as the best, sir.  Prithee, pistol your sweet with another bullet for good measure.

[an indeterminate amount of time passes]

NARRATOR: Whither shall you abscond?  Whither shall you abscond?  I said, Joseph, whither shall you abscond?  Whither shall you abscond?

JOSEPH: Mark me well: I shall speed in a southerly course and o'erwalk the border into the United Mexican States.  Yond, I may 'scape the consequences of my malefaction, as the authorities shall be uncapable of sounding my whereabouts.  Thus I shan't countenance capital punishment, perchance bemeted by a deathsman fastening a halter about my neck. Credit my words: I must needs take my leave posthaste.

NARRATOR: Yes, agreed, you must needs take your leave posthaste.  God keep you, Joseph!  Godspeed!