Patrick Vieira and a sacking swimming in an ocean of melancholy

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The Premier League is the greatest cult in the world, a microclimate of hot air, dependent thought, confused entitlement and pound notes. On Friday morning, hitherto popular member Patrick Vieira disappeared, no questions asked. Who fancies some Kool-Aid?

Can I one be of 1,056 readers who may have spotted that the fonts in your letters section have changed from to italics then back to normal (Fiver letters passim)? Hmm, on rereading what I’ve just written, I realise this could probably be the most boring letter ever penned. However it IS the Fiver so it will be interesting to see whether you publish it, even in an ironic way (y’know with italics or something) or humorously cut me off in mid fl – Rod de Lisle

Congratulations to Football Daily for its contribution to this. “Fifa’s hastily-squashed Women’s World Cup sponsorship deal with Saudi Arabia, which had been condemned by *checks notes* ... Football Australia and others.” Clearly those notes failed to mention Team Heroine, the Government of the People’s Republic of Aotearoa, and NZ Football, all of which may have expressed their feelings with, or well before, our Fifa Women’s World Cup joint hosts in the West Island – Ewan McDonald

I was delighted to see David Squires’ cartoon about my adopted hometown finally getting a shot in the flamin’ A-League (men’s), and especially for the shoutout to our excellent A-League (women’s) side. If we can’t get a men’s team called the Canberra Skywhales, the least we deserve is a supporters group called Capital Punishment – Adam Osborne

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