Tune In To DC Cartoons & Mutant Mayhem!

February was a crazy busy month that I didn’t get around to blogging much. Remind me about that at the end of the year when I panic about my viewership decreasing. I got new spectacles, & now I’m afraid strangers online that haven’t seen my visage won’t recognize me. Then I discovered local McDonald’s charges seventy cents more for a large shamrock shake than one on the highway. The mall one is furthest away & cheapest yet by thirty cents. So if I travel far enough from home I’ll eventually be able to get shamrock shakes for a penny!

The trailer for TMNT: Mutant Mayhem just dropped. I don’t have too much to say about that yet, so let’s chat about random DC cartoons first. (Sorry, draft of random non-DC cartoons!) There will be SPOILERS for Young Justice & miscellaneous animated movies. I would’ve blogged on James Gunn’s “Gods & Monsters” DC Studios announcements, but I worry it’ll just become frustrating vaporware like Batgirl thanks to David Zaslav. I swear Zaslav becoiming WB Discovery CEO is going to be my supervillain origin story.   Hardcore MODOK fetishists can read my Ant-Man & The Wasp: Quantumania collaboreview again instead.

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I hate how the premise of Young Justice is “The Justice League puts its inexperienced & hormonal sidekicks onto a nameless black ops squad to do its heavy lifting against the Secret Society Of Supervillains, whom always win even when then lose.”

Was season three better paced than earlier ones, or did it just seem that way since I could watch it on my own schedule? It was strange they made a big deal of Plastic Man & Batwoman resigning from the League, but they never reappeared as Batman Inc members. This series remains a dick to Ocean Master. Starro The Conqueror would’ve absolutely wrecked Vandal Savage! I was really hopeful that YJ: Outsiders would finally wrap up some of those long-term plots. Then those last two episodes happened.

Aside from the seasonal time skips, I think the weirdest choice was including a red hooded ninja with Ra’s al Ghul’s posse that’s startled to see the team. It’s likely supposed to be Jason Todd, whom we’d only briefly seen as a memorial hologram. So if you’re only watching this show without prior DC knowledge you’ll be utterly baffled. They can’t just coast on context from separate DC adaptations. Also they had three Roy Harper variants resurface in plain clothes expecting us to remember who they were.

I do like how they had split up Phantoms into mini-arcs to flesh out some of the characters more. For a show obsessed with delayed gratification, many installments of prior seasons felt rushed. Dr. Fate’s helmet testing Zatanna’s crew put a wrench in the pacing yet it was necessary to let viewers know whom these rookies are. Having Phantom Stranger narrate over still scenes to cut animation costs was annoying like everyone on Mars speaking telepathically so they wouldn’t need to animate mouths.

The JL Watchtower being a giant iron in space will always be funny. Spelling Mars as M’arzz is so dumb.

Orphan impales Lady Shiva straight through her torso, & Oracle still congratulates her on not killing her mom? Santa Prisca must have superlative medical care if that wasn’t a lethal blow.

HOW DARE THEY KILL TEEKL?

Zatanna not letting Mary Batson Bromfeld become Sergeant Shazam is dumb because it keeps forcing her to siphon her teammates’ magic during crisis. Only letting her use one out of five powers at a time is very ineffective, especially if Mary has to announce which one it is. It’s just setting her up to fail! What does it matter she wanted to be Sgt. Shazam full time? She becomes Black Mary Marvel in the season finale stinger to further throw her under the bus. Both her costumes look cool.

Rocket was added to the team without context towards the end of its inaugural season & almost instantly vanished aside from cameos. (I suspected that was due to issues with Milestone, but Static got some decent screentime after her introduction.) It only took four seasons, but Rocket finally got her own arc. Beast Boy deserves to be in the intro since his arc carries throughout the season unlike Nightwing.

Jackson Hyde was supposed to be the mainline counterpart of Kaldur’ahm, but they have different mothers? Fury isn’t Lyta Hall? Oh, she’s supposed to be Fury III/Amazing Woman. They changed her name to Rosa & the only info about her transitioning are vague tweets.

Even “dead,” Superboy remains a drag. I can’t believe YJ wasted its last season saving Connor from the The Phantom Zone instead of rescuing Wally from The Speed Force! Now not even YJ: Phantoms will conclude it main plot? How long do they intend to stretch this out? By the time they thwart The Light, they’ll be Elderly Justice! It got cancelled again so we’ll never find out unless they capitulate to comics. The payoff to Phantoms was learning the Daxamites & Durlans evolved from Kryptonians & Martians, which wasn’t a pressing concern.

Emerald Empress Ursa is underused. She’s going to be a mama bear!

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Batman: The Audio Adventures by Dennis McNicholas is superb. It’s like a cartoon with no animation budget! Thankfully David Goyer is not involved as early press releases said. (He’s doing a different Batpodcast, Unburied.) My biggest gripe is Joker & Two-Face sound miscast to me. Jeffery Wright is a superlative Batman though. Move over, Query & Probe Quiz Echo; Miss Tuesday is my new favorite Riddler henchwench! Mayor Hill may be my favorite character. Bradley Whitford’s Scarecrow is great since they made this narcoterrorist a genuine threat instead of a gimmick patsy. Basil Karlo’s The Second Skin is a movie you shelve permanently & take a tax write off on, not Scoob! Holiday Haunt or Batgirl! Season two decided to end with as many cliffhangers as possible instead of a conclusion.

Brave of WB to give Batman & Superman new cartoons when Wonder Woman still hasn’t had a solo animated series yet.

The Death In The Family cartoon is “interactive“ in that you can choose whether Jason Todd lives or dies like the original story, except all the outcomes have him become a murderous vigilante anyway? What if we want Jason Todd to stay dead?

Elizabeth Gillies is superb supurrb as the star of Catwoman: Hunted. Hopefully she’ll reprise the role & do more voice overs in general.

The third season of the Harley Quinn show that people seem to love more than me has its moments. It’s still a bummer Poison Ivy got manipulated by Harley, Lex Luthor, & the Joker in a row in the finale. “The Harley Quinn Problematic Valentine’s Day Special” lives up to its title. Dosing an unsuspecting city with a magic-enhanced plant pheromone aphrodisiac that makes everyone so uncontrollably horny they screw the nearest being or building does NOT yield consensual sex.

WB execs steal all their ideas from Teen Titans Go To The Movies!

The intro credits to Teen Titans Go! Vs. Teen Titans are superb yet spoilery.

Robin reacts to Slade’s name.

Zack Snyder & Patrick Wilson guest star in “365!” It was a fun episode regardless of which part of the DC movie spectrum you’re on.

Battle Of The Super Sons is like Superman & Lois with with Starro & more guest appearances. Lois Lane is so hardcore she sets Starro-infected President Lex Luthor’s face aflame on live television! Then she stabs the Starro spore in its eye with a miniature American flag!

But I got HBO Max so I could watch all the DC cartoons! I don’t want another streaming subscription!

Throne Of Atlantis begins with the most absurd bar fight over a lobster.

“But it was foolproof! FOOLPROOF!!!” Sorry, myth busted.

Scooby-Doo & Batman: The Brave & the Bold is a stone cold masterpiece! It’s the best version of “Hush,” which admittedly sounds like it’s damning with faint praise. “I go wherever puppet related crime rears its ugly head.” What if Shaggy has the same condition as Tarrare? Scooby-Doo in general is a screwball comedy. Mystery Incorporated did get eventually romance in there, like The Thin Man with less alcoholism.

In addition to Scoob! Holiday Haunt, Scooby-Doo! & Krypto Too! was also axed. At least this one leaked so pirates have been able to see its hilarious Daily Planet riff on the Velma joke while HBO Max subscribers are subjected to Velma’s anti-comedy. Scooby-Doo! & The Mystery Pups has also been euthanized. When are those meddling kids going to unmask Zaslav?

Would the Justice League: Gods & Monsters sequel have mashed up the Steels?

Gotham By Gaslight isn’t a faithful adaptation of the seminal Elseworlds graphic novel(s) by the late Brian Augustyn, but it works anyway. This is one of those rare examples of how to not make Batman an asshole. He sincerely cares about prostitutes & poor women being murdered. Bruce Wayne’s origin influences this but we don’t need to see it again. He’s competent but not to an absurd degree so he has a bit of an underdog vibe. Selina Kyle is great even if she doesn’t do cat burglary. Alfred is voiced by Giles & collects orphans. Other popular Gothamites fare less well in its take on From Hell. It’s well paced although the ending is a bit sudden.

Make a maroon brickhouse as the late Tim Sale intended, you cowards! The The Long Halloween cartoon’s odd use of Alberto Falcone only subverts expectations if you’ve already read the comics. Batman jumps to the conclusion he’s the prime Holiday suspect without the audience seeing him find any clues for this. The story still works overall with the change though. One could argue that this alteration improves on the original. It still doesn’t make Batman look like a great detective if he took a whole year to solve the mystery.

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No discussion of the DCAU should proceed without mourning Kevin Conroy. There’s a rumor HBO Max will revive BTAS instead of JLU, the series with more potential. Even if Zaslav didn’t despise animation, it feels like this pitch ought to be rjected out of respect to Conroy.

Everybody on BTAS is an incel or vocel including Batman. There’d be less crime in Gotham City if network censors had let them blow off steam otherwise. Roxy Rocket’s entire career is based on her horniness. On the other hand, Bruce Timm was so obsessed with Batman & Batgirl boning he shoehorned his fanfic ship into The Killing Joke.

Remember the BTAS episode where the bankrupt real estate mogul made his casino Joker-themed to goad the real deal into attacking it while it was full of people so he could pocket the insurance money?

Why did the Russian BTAS dub recast the cat? Is tabulating international residuals to Frank Welker really that complicated?

Was Red Claw invented because they couldn’t use Cheshire for reasons? Despite seeming unique superficially, she was as generic a terrorist as possible.

There were never any episodes with Catwoman as the solo antagonist. She always allies with Batman against another villain. While she came out on top more often than most foes, it undermines her as a solo supervillainess that she’s never the most pressing threat. At most she’s a distraction.

It vexes me that DCAU refused to use Killer Moth & Kite-Man for being too silly (They made Catman dull.), yet “Critters” was fine? I did like the ransom goat & that Emmylou Brown is just really strong from beef steroids, no Venom required.

Two-Face’s credit card makes lense sense than Batman’s.

Why did BTAS make Mr. Freeze look like my Grandpa? WB nixed NECA’s BTAS freeze ray.

TNBA already gave Jason Todd’s background & personality to Tim Drake, so how are they going to make retconning in Jason Todd for Batman: The Adventures Continue comic book work? Is he going to get Tim Drake’s persona? Deathstroke’s design looks like it’s missing paint apps. “Asian giant hornets. MY GOD.”

Detective Comics’ “The Bomb” inspired a monumental scene in JLU‘s “Epilogue.

Gail’s “Double Date” did great.

Charlize Theron’s wardrobe in 2 Days In The Valley evokes the Galatea version of Power Girl.

“My idea is basically, it’s 1990 again and I get to do what I want to do this time,” added Bruce Timm on Batman: Caped Crusader. “The perky nipples of every female character design will make it to the final animation! Now Batman can finally have sex with all the ladies!”

“Even his surrogate mother, Dr. Leslie Thompkins?”

“Especially Dr. Leslie Thompkins!”

(I have just been informed that this actually happened on Titans, & now I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.)

McFarlane Toys will be releasing some of the cancelled DC Collectibles BTAS toys. It’s just stock that already made it to the warehouse when the company folded, but maybe this will motivate him to put more nixed items into production? C’mon, Luchadore Metallo!

“I need to cut back on action figures. OOH! The new Blight looks even more like Atomic Skull, neither character I’m particularly attached to!”

What if Mysterio was into sound design instead of visual effects but also looked like a polar bear?

“Are you my mummy?”

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TMNT: Mutant Mayhem‘s short trailer didn’t give much of the movie away. In addition to its unique animation style that has a crayon vibe, the titular terrapin teens act like & are voiced by real teenagers. Does this justify another origin tale? It doesn’t focus on the celebrity voice cast. I worry that the smorgasbord of fan favorite mutants will end up being glorified cameos ala The Lego Batman Movie.

Is or her original Aussie? . Shouldn’t Matt Berry be Screwloose? Will this movie assemble The Mighty Mutanimals? Seth Rogen has warthog experience, . (I still haven’t forgiven Playmates Mutatin’ Bebop.) Bebop & Rocksteady being an interracial partnership of equals is key aspect of their endearing dynamic. It might’ve been acceptable if Rocksteady was black this time for balance, .

If McFarlane Toys is doing action figures for this movie, where are the listings for Dark Turtle & Wingnut? Or was this a mistake by the Canadian distributor & Playmates is making these? Somebody got their wires crossed because the only product shown so far in leaked photos that’ve been removed are by Playmates.

Meanwhile NECA’s cartoon 2-packs jumping to $60 priced me out of the new Bebop & Rocksteady (Mighty Hog & Rhino-Man). I’d rather save up for brand new characters. I need NECA to make Savanti Romero & comics Armaggon (I don’t care if they keep the video game feet) before they get completely unaffordable.

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Come back soon if you want me to rant about Superman & Lois season three premiere & SHAZAM! Fury Of The Gods!