A few tears …

I think many of you will already know that we lost mum on Saturday. I’m not up for a eulogy, but it’s safe to say that she leaves a hole which – as you’d expect – no one can fill. You only get one mum. In the end she died peacefully and pain free in Colchester General, having lived the life she wanted to live. At 89 that’s pretty much as good as it gets and we have so much to be thankful for. Bless her and may she rest forever in peace …

… and a huge thanks to the NHS, Colchester General and Langham Ward. Everyone has been fabulous. 

I think that mum’s process over the past year from ‘steady on her feet’ to really rather poorly and then not with us, has taught me some lessons and, if you don’t mind, I’d like to share those with you just in case you’re heading that way anytime soon.

First ‘Careline’ are/is fabulous. They operate throughout the country and provided you have a landline or wifi, it costs around £20 per month for an older person to have a wristband or necklace with a big red button. They press the button when they’re in distress and, via a loudspeaker, an operator calls them, assesses the situation and phones their next-of-kin (me, in this case). I think I’ve spoken to them ten times in two years and every time they have deployed a medic, who triages and, if necessary, calls an ambulance. If you don’t have live-in carers it’s the next best thing for peace of mind. I can’t recommend them enough. 

Next is UTIs, or urinary tract infections. Old people, men and women, get UTIs. It’s all about hydration, cleanliness and incontinence. They get poorly pretty quickly (lethargy etc) but, most of all, they can quickly make no sense … as if they’ve taken LSD or something similar. Dad used to see things. On Monday Mum wanted to know who the lady in pink was with the baby, pointing at an empty chair. From there they can deteriorate very quickly and a UTI can very easily turn into sepsis, which will likely kill them. The madness is (no pun intended), UTIs are cured quickly with antibiotics. The problem is getting an old person, who is not thinking straight, to take their medicine.

Bottom line, if your elderly loved one starts to make no sense, get them to a doctor as soon as possible. It can be easily sorted. It was a UTI which put mum in hospital. Deeper, underlying things killed her, but the UTI was the spotter.

Finally, when it comes to making decisions about the elderly, insofar as care/care homes etc, try and take as much time as possible. For many, and I include us last summer, we wanted a quick fix – actually, as we had to get Henry to Saudi, we needed a quick fix. In retrospect I probably didn’t spend enough time thinking through what was best for mum which, of course, was best for us. I regret that, but thankfully no harm was done. 

Thanks for listening, by the way.

We’ve got a couple of more days here … a meeting on Wednesday to register mum’s death. And then we’re back home via Mary’s mid-week. Some of you may wish to know when the funeral is. It’s planned for Monday 27th March at 3.30pm at Weeley crem, followed by tea at St Mary’s church in Great Bentley. You’re more than welcome to attend. 

Other than losing my mum (cheeky grin) we’re fine. It’s a strange old life, isn’t it? Doubtless there will be plenty more tears. In the meantime I’m reaching for my glass of cider.

Keep safe everyone.