The Subtle Art of Not Being a Cult [misprint]

Please stick on this song by my fucking mates Danny, Dave and Ian before reading this post. 

Today my mobile phone kept correcting the word "comes" to "cunts". Patrick Stuart remarked that "Yours must be the only phone I know of that not only recognises 'cunts' but actually adjusts towards it".

It's true. I have trained my phone, and I've trained it well. Obviously I'm going to write "cunts" more than "comes".

I increasingly dictate to my phone rather than giving myself RSI. The voice recognisifier...