The Rule of the Scale

I forget to tell you, we got a new bathroom scale. Now I know you’re just dying to know — What happened to the old scale?

Well I’ll tell you what happened. Wizard came out one morning and said they scale was weighed him too heavy and must be broken.

You’ll be so proud of me, I just nodded and kept my mouth shut.

The next day, I had to run to Target and he asked me to buy a new scale. So I did. Again without saying anything. Wizard tried both scales side by side, want to guess how that went? Yep, they both weighed the exact same.

I didn’t laugh. Noe even when he said to me with a straight face: “It’s only broken sometimes.”

Now I do know what happened, see Wizard doesn’t believe in The Rule of the Scale. We weigh ourselves ONLY when we first get up before we have even taken a sip of water. That’s the only time the scale will work correctly. If you weigh any other time of day, the scale has complete freedom to screw with you.

Seriously, it’s an ironclad rule. Don’t believe me? Weigh yourself in the morning before you dress, eat or even take a full breath of air. Then go to the doctor’s and get weighed. See what happens??? Don’t break the rule!

I’ve told Wizard this rule repeatedly, but does he listen? Nope. He thinks he has the complete freedom to weigh himself any time of the day he wants to. He’ll weigh himself as instructed in the morning, then he’ll do it again two hours later after he’s dressed, put on shoes, had coffee and pancake breakfast. Then dare the scale again later than night after donuts with Turbo and some massive dinner. Then he swears the scale is broken for showing him a few pounds heavier. All I can say is; he was warned. But if he continues to break the rule and drive himself nuts, then I’ll keep buying new scales to toy with him :-) He’s been warned!