What I've learned about author-agent pitches, and a one-line summary of my new novel

I’ve been reading about what to do (and what not to do) in an author-agent pitch session. Often at Writer’s Conferences, you can sign up for these grueling sweat-inducing 10-minute agent meetings, and you have to be like a million percent prepared. So below are some things I know I need to know/do. Next week, after my first actual agent pitch, yowwwwwza(!), I’ll tell you more about what NOT to do. Pray for moi that I don’t make too much of an arse out of myself. Particularly problematic for me is that I have one self-published book under my belt, and an unfinished manuscript. Generally, agents don’t want to hear about either of those things, but I’m going to try to talk about them anyway – the agent might just be like, talk to the hand, I’m busy, bye-bye. Anyway, here are some tips from a newbie on preparing for an author-agent pitch (please feel free to correct me or offer alternative advice or tell me that my summary sucks or whatever – I need alllllll the feedback!):

1. Prepare a one-sentence summary of the book that will hook the agent right away. Also prepare a 3-5 sentence synopsis. And have a one-page summary on hand in case the agent requests it.

Shadow Swans:
• Genre: Literary Fiction for the YA and market
• One-line summary: When a brilliant young misanthrope discovers a community living in the subway tunnels under New York City, she learns that love and magic can be found in even the most destitute of places. [and in a more conversational tone, for when I’m asked about my book on an elevator: It’s about a brilliant young misanthrope living in the New York City subway system who discovers that love and magic can be found in even the darkest places]
• Summary: Credenza R, a shockingly beautiful and well-read young woman, has lived inside the New York City subway system all her life; she has never been aboveground. Ruby Cooper, a filthy rich misanthrope, lives in an abandoned building adorned with hundreds of hummingbirds she has sculpted out of colored wire. Their lives collide, enabling them to find magic in the underground. When they discover a series of government-constructed tunnels connecting all the major cities on the Eastern seaboard, Credenza and Ruby embark upon the greatest, and most dangerous, adventure of their lives; and along the way they fall deeply in love. […I’ve removed the end of this summary so it doesn’t contain spoilers]

The Veil is Thin (new novel):
• Genre: Literary Fiction for the YA market
• One-line summary: In the face of worldwide drought, a teenage girl kidnapped by neo-Mayan extremists struggles to escape before she’s sacrificed rain gods. [conversational tone, for when I’m asked about my book on an elevator: It’s about a teenage girl kidnapped by neo-Mayan extremists who intend to sacrifice her to the god of rain. She has to find a way to escape before the summer solstice festival, when she’ll be thrown into a massive sinkhole.]
• Summary: Drought has overtaken the planet. Anna, an eccentric teenager living in the hills of a Honduran island, is kidnapped by Neo-Mayan extremists and prepared for sacrifice to the angry rain gods. Desperate to escape, Anna attaches messages to the scientific ankle tags of seabirds nesting upon the window of her cell. […I’ve removed the end of this summary so it doesn’t contain spoilers]

3. Know which authors/books you can compare yourself to. For me, this is going to be: Suzanne Collins – Hunger Games - Plot-driven young adult action. Stieg Larsson – The Girl Who blah blah - plot-driven thriller. Sue Monk Kidd – Secret Life of Bees - direct, lyrical and imaginative writing style with lots of sensory descriptions and rich characters. Tom Robbins – I try to pay homage to his ability to play with language.

4. Platform: Who’s your audience? How would you promote your book? Why should the agent think you could sell yourself? Here are some ideas I’ve had for myself:
• Blog on Goodreads: How to self-publish, current writing projects, learning how to pitch a book. 80 readers weekly. http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/...
• Email lists from all my years playing gigs: About 2,000 people.
• Sold 5,000 albums. www.laurathomsaband.com
• Facebook: 1,300 friends
• “Shadow Swans” – www.shadowswans.com. See reviews on Amazon/Goodreads.
• I’ve given two self-publishing tutorials, and a course on “work/life balance” at a local community center. Also book events in Chicago, New York, Birmingham, and Mammoth Lakes CA.

5. Learn about the agent you’ll be meeting. What kind of books is he/she looking for? What’s his/her agency like? Why is he/she a good fit for you?

6. Bring a printed one-page summary to the meeting in case the agent requests it. Also bring first three chapters printed, and a copy of the whole manuscript. Usually agents at writers’ conferences don’t want any of these things because they can’t carry it all home with them. But if they like your project they’ll request that you email them the manuscript.

I’m sure there’s way lots more I should know, and thankfully I’m going to a workshop this week on preparing an author pitch. So this is all pretty preliminary. But this is what I’ve got so far. More next week. You are a magnificent daffodil in a sea of sludge. xoxo.