What do you do when you realize you are alone for the rest of your life?

I’ll tell you what you do -

YOU REALIZE THAT BEING ALONE DOES NOT AMOUNT TO BEING LONELY.

Being alone is fine, but being lonely is hell.

I have been through both scenarios and have survived to tell the tale.

When I was first alone, way back 20 years ago, I was very lonely. Every day was a nightmare because I had nobody to talk to.

I noticed sharing things like passing the time of day with someone became very important. Just commenting on mundane things and being heard was the stuff of life. I could comment on a new bird at the bird feeder and there was nobody there to say, “Oh, yes, let’s look him up in the bird book”.

I also noticed that sharing decisions was very important. It soon becomes apparent that there are many decisions to be made in any partnership, and there is nobody there to share disasters when they occur.

When the a/c breaks down in the middle of the summer there is nobody there to share the decision of which company is more reliable to fix the a/c system. You find you have to try them all, and when you are a single woman, it soon becomes apparent that there are many rogues out there who profess to be something they are not.

When you are young and single these things do not matter because people, mainly men, will go out of their way to be helpful, but as you age so does the help available. It becomes old very quickly.

So, when you are old and single you had better be prepared to feel lonely much of the time. At least at first. But as human beings, we eventually get used to situations - people can endure the worst of situations and still live quite peacefully.

Over time, sometimes a very long time, your particular situation begins to take on a new light. Rather than feeling the sting of loneliness, you find that you are beginning to enjoy your own company.

It is quite a surprise. How could you have ever imagined you would prefer being alone? Yet, that is what has happened to me and I daresay many other lonely single people.

Over time, I have adapted to being alone and plan on being alone for the rest of my life. I look back with amusement sometimes because I was a social butterfly when I was young, always surrounded by company, always craving more.

Now, I no longer crave company. In fact, I generally shy away from it.

I notice these days that I am quite content with my hobbies and my cats and when my day is interrupted by people, I get bored almost immediately and just want to be alone again.

My friends are few and far between. But I don’t mind. If I have a couple of people to talk to every now and then, it is enough for me. I don’t need to be texting and talking on the phone for hours like some people do.

My quiet life is just that. Quiet. I get up when I have had enough sleep. I eat a bar of chocolate for dinner if I choose. I jump in my car and go for a drive if the mood takes me and there is nobody there to complain.

I was married to a big-time complainer for many years. I felt chained like a dog in the yard. My chain wasn’t long enough to stay out of the sun, and my bowl of food was always way out of reach.

Now, I have dropped that chain for good, and I can please myself whenever I choose.