Angry Boys in Eyeliner: Thoughts on Spartacus

Australian series Spartacus is quickly becoming a guilty pleasure of mine for all the wrong reasons. I mean it is really terrible ... poorly written, poorly researched, clinging to a questionable grasp of "authenticity" when it furthers an idiotic obsession with absurdly unrealistic violence.

But at the same time other elements of it are so good . Andy Whitfield plays a fascinating Spartacus, more cerebral than brutal. Viva Bianca and Craig Parker are hypnotic, horrifying you one moment than putting you in a strange position of rooting for them the next. They are both so amazingly charismatic. Yes, there's lots of amazing acting in this show ... sort of makes you wonder what the actors could do if they were given something not shit.

The costume and set design are also exactly what you'd want from a Roman gore fest: decadent, detailed, like a maze you want to dive into and explore.

I still think the show is terrible ... but I also can't stop watching it. Season 1 is so fundamentally different from Season 2, I desperately want them to take the best of each and combine them.





Season 1 - the Good
- Andy Whitfield is amazing. Tragically he had a cancer relapse just before season 2 started filming and had to be replaced (he died a few months before the premier). His replacement, Liam McIntyre, is also good but Andy was going to be a tough act to follow. Liam plays Spartacus too predictably for my tastes, very pretty boy super hero.

- World building. Most of the plot of Season 1 focuses on the various walks of life gladiators and slaves come from: prisoners, captured warriors, even Romans there willingly. Lots of interesting stuff.

- A tentative appreciation for realism. I didn't notice this until Season 2 where-- honestly-- I'm half surprised Spartacus didn't whip out a Kamehameha on the Romans -_- Or Katrina Law's Mira who in Season 1 is pretty with exotic features, pale skin and freckles, but nevertheless looks like a house slave. In Season 2 despite living in underground tunnels and in the woods with resources in short supply she somehow manages to maintain the Garnier Fructis makeover *eyeroll*.





Season 2 - The Good
- More of Agron! :D I'm not sure if they always intended to make Agron a more important character in Season 2 or if they decided to after Dan Feuerriegel stole every fucking scene he was in (omg seriously) But in either case, more of Spartacus's snarky, ragey, making-puppy-eyes-at-the-cute-boys second in command is always a good thing!

- Sympathetic villains. You hate them, then you feel bad for them, then you hate them again, then you want some of their evil plots against each other to succeed. Season 2 amps up the divisions on the Roman side and watching the good guys win is not nearly as fun as watching the bad guys plot against each other.

- Focusing on the rebel's cleverness and resourcefulness. I admit, I really love the attack on the arena, intense and mostly believable. Epic battles are fun when they favor cunning over super human powers.

The Bad
- MY KINGDOM FOR A FUCKING POSSESSIVE PRONOUN!! For some reason the writers have it in their heads that making everyone talk in this ridiculous Neanderthal-style English broken up with SAT words furthers the illusion that this is ancient Rome. It doesn't, but it does lead to most jarring and disjointed dialogue.

- Cherry picking "authenticity". They go to great lengths to create a language that is supposed to fit the period, but then fight scenes are set to a soundtrack of electric guitar ... seriously?

- Completely unrealistic and absurd violence. It's not possible to cut a man's face off his head. Especially not with a backhand sweep using a dull European broadsword. I feel like Starz was originally reaching to compete with original programming offers from HBO and Showtime with this series, but when that didn't work out decided to move towards the violent, horny teenage boy demographic -_- Some of these fight scenes feel more like you're watching a video game.

- Shallow, poorly done love interests. Manu Bennett delivers every line like he's using an electrolarynx. I spent most of both seasons wanting Crixus and Naevia to be driven off a cliff. Spartacus's and Mira's relationship starts off really interesting ... but completely resets to something totally unrecognizable in Season 2 @_@ The writers do romance like a child handed a chore: two minutes of doing things right before they appear to get frustrated with the work and half-ass it. It's worse than Insta-love, characters go from suspicious and resentful of each other to trusting and affectionate seemingly without reason. Agron and Nasir's relationship is only believable because the actors really sell it and because if Dan Feuerriegel and Pana Hema Taylor had anymore chemistry you would need to watch this show behind a blast shield.

So ... yeah ... do I recommend it? I'm not sure. It definitely has its moments of fun and maybe that's really all it needs. How can you hate a show where you get to watch this.

You can't. It's impossible :)