What Makes Us Feel Loved? (informal survey results)

This weekend I put up some slides on my Instagram Stories asking single people, married people (with or without kids), chronically ill people, and anyone else who wanted to respond what made them feel the most loved. I was curious to know:

What did they need from their friends?What made them feel loved?What did they wish people would ask them or not ask them?What did they wish people would do more of or less of for them?What was the last thing someone did for them or said to them that really touched them and meant a lot?

It was interesting to read the answers. There were many that I expected and related to, but a few that surprised me, too. I was trying to figure out how to store and save the answers and I decided to share them anonymously here on my blog so I can refer back to them–and so you can read them, too. Here’s to all of us loving each other better in 2023!

Single peopleI need support, listening, and understanding.Mostly just an open ear. I can spend time with myself, but sometimes I need to talk.I need people to show up and not only show interest in you as a potential for someone else. Also, we’re not just babysitters. We like to spend time with grownups, too.I wish more people know that I’m waiting on God’s timing for me to start dating.Not me being the only one who initiates conversations with me.I wish people would quit assuming I have extra time just because I’m not married.I feel loved when I get a “just because” text, letter, or visit.Invitations to social events!I want to be invited into people’s lives, even if their lives are different than mine. I want to dine with families and third wheel and babysit friends’ kids and be set up. All of it.I wish people would stop saying “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”I love when people make an effort to remember things I’ve told them/about my sensory needs.Married peopleI like being asked about my marriage! I like talking about my husband.I also love when people praise my husband in front of me (or vice versa).I don’t think it’s useful to hold all couples to one standard or timeline (example, when having kids).Dates with friends with AND without spouses!Stop asking when we’re going to have kids/start our family. We already are a family, and if/when we have kids is none of your business.I wish people would stop asking when we’re going to have kids. Like, we can’t right now. Just stop.Chronically ill peopleDo low key things. Watch a show. Send memes.The understanding that I will need to cancel things last minute.Ask about my symptoms to better understand me/what I need.Ask questions!People to be present.Less opinions and more listening when I’m thinking through something or need to vent.Any stage of lifePeople bringing or making me food.I feel loved when people tell me the truth about themselves and how they’re doing.I feel loved when people remember specific details about my life and check in.Friends being intentional. A random text is the best.I love snail mail/notes/letters!Friends stopped to pray with me this morning and one had tissues in her purse for whoever needed them.Honestly, I love it when my friends trust me to help them and expose their need to me.

Do you relate to any of the sentiments expressed here? What makes you feel loved? What do you need from your friends?