Splitting: ROW80 Check In
Yesterday I attended a middle school parent meeting focusing on anxiety in adolescents. I sat directly across from the professional leading the discussion.
She began by identifying a growing problem in young kids, something she called splitting. These children are perfectionists, so they only see things as perfect or failure. Either they get a 100% on a test, or they've failed. Fear of this failure can start to rule their everyday lives.
I sat there, trying to take it all in. But what I was really doing... desperately trying to calm my mind on several levels. One, I constantly struggle with what my kids need from me as parent. Two, I struggle with what I need from myself to feel worthwhile and successful.
I'm quite the perfectionist. Loads of encouraging comments register, but one negative or scathing input will take over my mind. I need to work on that and not just for my children, but for my writing. Self-doubt is one thing, it happens to us all in varying degrees. (If it doesn't happen to you, please leave you name and number in the comment section, so I can call and pick your brain.)
Perfection can never be achieved, and who would want it? If we were all perfect, where would all the interesting stories we write about come from? They are called character flaws for a reason.
I must say, I'm constantly amazed how much I learn about myself while I'm trying to raise my children.
My ROW80 Update
Writing: All kinds of writing for A to Z, none for me. I need to get my head in the game and focus. Yes, life has been throwing me curve balls, but I just need to focus and swing at them. Can't win the game if you don't swing.
Editing: Took a step back for a few days after finishing my huge project. I have some beta reading and other editing work to do and will get back to it tomorrow.
Blogging: Still loving A to Z. This week: Networking = N, Onomatopoeia = O, and Picking and Piddling = P (thanks for that one, Mom). Plus, I posted a review on Mom in Love with Fiction.
Social Media: Doing my best to get around and comment.
Reading: I've read 20 books toward my 52-book goal!
Exercise: Running is going so well. It's finally clicking. I just wish it didn't make me so freaking hungry (and I wish my husband didn't make the best darned chocolate chip cookies around!).
Hope everyone is doing well. Check out fellow ROW80 participants here.
She began by identifying a growing problem in young kids, something she called splitting. These children are perfectionists, so they only see things as perfect or failure. Either they get a 100% on a test, or they've failed. Fear of this failure can start to rule their everyday lives.
I sat there, trying to take it all in. But what I was really doing... desperately trying to calm my mind on several levels. One, I constantly struggle with what my kids need from me as parent. Two, I struggle with what I need from myself to feel worthwhile and successful.I'm quite the perfectionist. Loads of encouraging comments register, but one negative or scathing input will take over my mind. I need to work on that and not just for my children, but for my writing. Self-doubt is one thing, it happens to us all in varying degrees. (If it doesn't happen to you, please leave you name and number in the comment section, so I can call and pick your brain.)
Perfection can never be achieved, and who would want it? If we were all perfect, where would all the interesting stories we write about come from? They are called character flaws for a reason.
I must say, I'm constantly amazed how much I learn about myself while I'm trying to raise my children.
My ROW80 Update
Writing: All kinds of writing for A to Z, none for me. I need to get my head in the game and focus. Yes, life has been throwing me curve balls, but I just need to focus and swing at them. Can't win the game if you don't swing.
Editing: Took a step back for a few days after finishing my huge project. I have some beta reading and other editing work to do and will get back to it tomorrow.
Blogging: Still loving A to Z. This week: Networking = N, Onomatopoeia = O, and Picking and Piddling = P (thanks for that one, Mom). Plus, I posted a review on Mom in Love with Fiction.
Social Media: Doing my best to get around and comment.
Reading: I've read 20 books toward my 52-book goal!
Exercise: Running is going so well. It's finally clicking. I just wish it didn't make me so freaking hungry (and I wish my husband didn't make the best darned chocolate chip cookies around!).
Hope everyone is doing well. Check out fellow ROW80 participants here.
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