#75: The Mixed Bag of 2022

So. 2022 huh?

Firstly, I apologize for such a late recap blog regarding last year! December was very, VERY stressful for multiple reasons that I might get into but just know-- I needed to get myself together for this blog. Mainly 'cause I want to actually REFLECT on 2022 in more depth than usual. I like to think it's because 2022 was a MESS and I want to articulate that as well as I possibly can. So here goes nothing!

I'll begin with the cons, which sort of boil down to medical emergencies and general declining health in my household. I had to deal with COVID for the first time ever this year and it was - no shocker here - terrible! Got a bit of a scare recently where my sister came home for the holidays and had COVID herself. And I still find it so crazy that she didn't give it to anyone at home (at least that I know of). Regardless of that, yeah, 2022 was the year of health issues. I got to experience more panic attacks and increased anxiety, but more importantly, my parents are suffering. I don't want to get to into it, but my dad is immuno-suppressed, has type 2 diabetes, and neuropathy in his legs. And my mom's still dealing with Alzheimer's as well as - more recently discovered - colitis. She also technically suffers from nearly daily agitation, but I like to think that parts on me. I'm still trying to regulate my stressors. Less negative things to happen this past year: uhhhh I broke my glasses and it took me so infuriatingly long to try out for new ones. Oh, and I managed to not write anything of note at all this year, but I think you already knew about that one, especially if you've been keeping up with these blogs of mine.

Now spliced and sprinkled between all that were the good times. I learned French at some point - mainly thanks to a hyperfixation - and I should honestly probably return to that this year! More recently, I was able to teach myself a new shading technique that's really satisfying to me. Lots of strong new media interests have kept me sane for the most part! Back in April, I celebrated the 10 year anniversary of creating Toni Drake - and my stories as a whole so that's cool I guess! And then in May, I was able to see a YouTuber that I enjoy and admire. Last but CERTAINLY no least, I'm learning more and more about myself every day. I'm unmasking my possible autism (diagnosis pending) and it truly seems like stimming is self-regulating my anxiety and keeping me sane just like my hyperfixations. I do have the occasional doubt that it's just all in my head, but the possibility of being autistic has really shed some light on my childhood and past as a whole. It's actually very eye-opening and I wish I could go more into detail, but this blog is becoming so very long and I'm sure no one's actually reading anymore. If you somehow are, you deserve a medal. Seriously. Sorry, that was a bit of a tangent, but the point is: I've enjoyed rediscovering myself in this way. It explains so much. I'll probably touch on the topic of autism in upcoming blogs, likely after I've received an official diagnosis so I can stop struggling with the accompanying imposter syndrome...

So yeah. 2022. I wanted to originally say that it's been a real mess. And it still is, no lie. Like FUCK 2022. Good riddance, ya know? Sure, there were a few good moments, but... honestly? The medical issues keep worsening at home. I'm just... I shouldn't think about it, and I definitely shouldn't be writing about it, but I'm just... scared of losing my parents.

Well, this blog has gone on long enough, I'm losing energy from typing and I just wanna nap and forgot I wrote anything noteworthy. Here's to 2023 (which is already here oops) and I hope things improve in my life. I hope I'm able to write and draw more. My only real new years resolution for 2023 is honestly to just... be myself more. Live and understand more. Try to cope better. Obviously, we shall see...

Anyway, I hope see you all next month (or the END of this month really)! In the meantime, please keep spreading the word about my book! <3 Don't forget to subscribe so you don't miss out on any future updates (which includes these blogposts)! Thanks for reading, everyone! Stay safe and stay awesome! <3

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~ Fangs & Kisses ~

Rachel Joy