2022: My Year
When I think of January, I think of driving back and forth to a little mountain town 30 minutes away, wearing my new red Gilmore Girls sweatshirt and little gold jewelry, listening to Abigail Barlow. And of course, I was in and out of the hospital that entire month in a succession of tube changes and ER visits and complications that just kept getting worse like a line of dominoes falling; I remember projectile vomiting in the car and feeling like I was dying, struggling to breathe and my jaw being out of place for weeks. “Love is not something that can be wasted.” “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
In February I spent half the month in Mississippi. That trip was the first time I’d ever flown by myself and it was the best; it felt so good to feel like I was a part of the world. My birthday was shopping with my aunt and the next day was the sweetest time with Brooke and my grandpa–two of my very favorite people. I left with so many precious memories transcribed into my journal. “We always wanted a girl. Your mother was the joy of our life.”
March, I dressed up and went downtown by myself and heard Maisie Peters live in concert and it was one of the absolute best nights ever. The next day I did 15 minutes of marketing and was immediately overwhelmed with work (I hired a VA again which has proved invaluable ever since). My health went downhill and my to-do list kept getting busier.
In April I think I cried in every hospital in the metro Atlanta area. That’s probably an exaggeration, but it felt like it, anyway. In between all of the medical mess, there were sweet times with my church family and days spent hammocking with Kenna and getting settled into the music studio where I’d started taking weekly voice and songwriting lessons in March.
For some reason, I don’t remember much about May; off the top of my head, there’s no one big event that stands out in my mind. I began driving back and forth to a hospital 30 minutes away to get infusions a couple of times a week, which I did for the remainder of the summer, and I got really into making Reels for the Diamonds Conference Instagram account. I don’t know why those are the primary things I remember from that month, but there you go. “Slow down, you’re doing fine, you can’t be everything you want to be before your time.”
Some of the sweetest moments of my life have happened in Mississippi in June. This year was no exception. My extended family gathered for my grandpa’s 90th birthday and I was blown away all over again at how much I love him and them. Back home, I was in my The Summer I Turned Pretty era (gahhh the best the best the best) and Grace Anne came to spend the weekend. “Just adjust the sails.”
On the Fourth of July my family was sick so I went to Andrea’s. Out in the gravel driveway before I left, the summer twilight thick and heady around us, she told me she was pregnant and the whole way home I smiled so big my cheeks hurt. I worked a lot in July–probably too much, probably too much this whole summer, this whole year–and saw Mean Girls at the Fox. The last week of the month I spent in the ER and in the hospital, and while no admission is ever good, that entire weeklong experience was honestly really traumatic in multiple ways. We decided we were burning my lucky medical socks.
I spent the entire month of August waiting around for my port surgery to be scheduled. I was antsy, unsure if I’d made the right decision. While I waited I went to a cat show and got caught in summer storms. The surgery finally happened at the end of the month. “No, you can’t have it all. But look at all you can have.” “I lack no good thing.”
In September I cried in more hospitals and did more work. I then took a week off work and it was absolutely glorious. After a staycation relaxing and catching up with friends, I went on a solo writing retreat in north Georgia, where I watched movies in my Airbnb and scribbled words at a mountain coffee shop and listened to music in my car with the windows down. I wish I could live in that weekend forever.
October was writing songs like crazy (with 26 by Carol Ades on repeat), the leaves the most beautiful fall colors I’ve ever seen. I had Covid for the first time and it was not pretty. Later in the month I was able to go with my family to Gulf Shores, which was a short but really special trip. I also went through the whole stupid dating rigamarole that I generally do around this time of year (PSA to 2023 me: It’s not worth it, you always go on a few dates and then end up at the same conclusion). “What is the opportunity in this obstacle?” “Goldenrod in bloom, as expected.”
In November, emotions about chronic illness hit me hard. My first grand mal seizure in a year and a half took away my driving license and, once again, threw everything I thought I’d figured out about my body out the window. I spent a lot of time with Annabelle, which was really really nice.
December was full of medical stuff, work, and spending time with people. The first few weeks were overall good… and then, as so often happens, medical emergencies took over my life and I ended up in the hospital for five days. It was really, really bad.
I wrote the first part of this post (everything you just read) off the top of my head on Thanksgiving Day, without looking back through any photos or at any of my monthly wrap-up blog posts until I’d finished drafting it. It’s interesting to me to see what truly sticks in my brain. What turns out to be most important when all is said and done.
This year I committed to prioritizing people over projects, and although I probably didn’t always do the best job, again and again the Lord has been showing me: “Life really is all about people, isn’t it?” I feel like I’m just now figuring out something everyone else already knew (#introvert)–the huge importance of the people and relationships in our lives. I mentioned this to my counselor at one point during the summer and she said, “Absolutely. Knowing, loving, and being known and loved by other people is the greatest privilege we have on this earth.” As @catchingbreaths recently said, “I used to think that WHAT we do for a living is what makes us happy… But now, more and more so, I realize that it’s not what we do in life that matters but who we do it with.” And as I’ve tried to prioritize people this year, it’s become evident to me what precious and treasured relationships I have in my life. I’m so thankful for my family, friends, and community.
Like with any year, this year held both good and bad–successes and failures, happiness and tears. The highlight reel: This year I wrote one-and-a-half novels (and edited + queried another). I read 157 books. I went to three concerts (two by myself, highly recommend). I took five trips (four of them fully or partially by myself, including a writing conference and a solo writing retreat–also highly recommend). I made new friends. I went to a wedding. I found a new home at my music studio and did so much good work there (landing at my music studio in March was the best thing to happen to me this year). I worked with around 40 clients, and my yearly income was higher than it’s ever been ($90k holla). I got interested in style and fashion (and bought way too many clothes haha). There was laughter with friends and joy in creating and moments that took my breath away at the sheer beauty of life.
But there’s also the part the Internet doesn’t always see. This year I was in the ER several times (six, to be exact). I was admitted to the hospital several times (three, to be exact). I had surgery to get a port and began using it every day (well, until I had that same port taken out just before the new year). I went to a funeral. I was diagnosed with multiple new chronic illnesses. I cried alone in my bedroom at night because, despite my rich community, I was lonely. I spent probably well over half of the year in bed. I cried in a bunch of hospitals. I pushed myself too hard and felt stressed about work. People who I looked up to and whose friendships I valued did and said hurtful things I still don’t understand. The good and bad are all part of life.
I don’t always set yearly goals, but in 2022, I did. Some weren’t necessarily goals so much as simply fun things I wanted to do. For the most part, I accomplished them all:
Write two novels. Technically, I only wrote one new novel this year ( The Art of Staying ). But I also got Things We’ve Lost ready to query, which took a lot of work, and outlined + started drafting Butterfly Island. So I’d say it was a pretty successful fiction year.
Go to Mississippi. I had a wonderful two-week trip in February to visit my grandpa, aunt, and uncle, and I also spent some extra time there in June before my grandpa’s big 90th birthday party (which was just the absolute sweetest).
Go to a writing conference. I took a solo road trip and went to a writing conference in north Georgia in April, but honestly it wasn’t the best weekend. My body was really struggling and I was having a lot of Emotions about chronic illness, so I feel like I wasn’t really focused on the conference–but I did attend some good seminars and make some new friends.
Go on a north Georgia writing retreat by myself. I did this in September and it was the ABSOLUTE. MOST. GLORIOUS. WEEKEND of my life. If you’ve been looking for a sign to do something similar… this is it.
Spend more time at the house and more time with Joshua. I’m not sure I did the best job of this, unfortunately. Joshua will be moving away to college next year (!) and I want to spend more time with him before then.
Take care of my body. This isn’t really a quantifiable goal, and I probably did a better job some days than others. But overall, I’m proud of how I manage my medical care and keep things going when my body makes it really freaking hard.
Prioritize church. This is also not necessarily quantifiable, but I think I succeeded! I love my church and my church family with all my heart. Truly, words can’t describe it.
Get good at guitar (and write more songs). I’ve played my guitar very infrequently this year–but when I set this goal, I didn’t know I’d end up starting songwriting lessons in March! I’ve written a lot of songs in 2022 that I’m really proud of. I have come so far as a musician this year and I’ll be performing some original songs for the first time in about six weeks!! Ask me for details if you’re local…
Focus on people and moments in addition to projects and tasks. Like I mentioned earlier, I think I did a good job here. I’m a very project-oriented person and focusing on people doesn’t always come naturally to me, but being intentional about this has made a huge shift in my life this year.
Take myself somewhere new once a month. Yeah… this is a nice idea, but it did not happen at ALL.Go to the ASO. I wanted to make it to the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra this year (I haven’t been in several years), but I did not.See the Mean Girls and Anastasia tours. Check! I saw Mean Girls at the Fox in July with my mom, and Anastasia in December with my dad. They were both so, so good!
Save at least $12,000 toward a house. I did this! I set up a high-yield savings account separate from my personal savings account and added a minimum of $1,000 every month.Combine learning and screen time rest via podcasts. I’m not really sure where this goal came from? I don’t listen to podcasts that much. I did enjoy The Heart & Hustle podcast and The Manuscript Academy podcast on and off this year, but that’s about it.At the bottom of my goal setting page in my 2022 planner, I added the following (c/o Grace Anne for the last line):
Outside of my usual medical/care for my body, work, and church/personal spirituality, my main focuses for 2022 are fiction, family, and going new places (and music). Success doesn’t always = doing. There is always more time than you think there is.
All in all, 2022 was quite a year. Here are some final highlights from the daily gratitude journal (looking at this makes me so happy and thankful for the beautiful parts of my life):
Goals for 2023:
Get a retirement fund set up. One of those boring adult things that needs to happen.Upgrade my business. I’ve been a sole proprietor for long enough–it’s time to move on to an S-corp or become incorporated or something like that. Still researching what the best option is here.Finish BI, draft TOIT, and continue querying TWL. When it comes to fiction, in 2023 I hope to finish a first draft of Butterfly Island, write a first draft of This One Is True (or possibly edit The Art of Staying instead), and continue querying Things We’ve Lost.SAVE MONEY (for a house). By this time next year, depending on how the market looks and how my life is going, I might be seriously house hunting! Which means I need to be seriously saving money.Get a single on Spotify? Or at least some on YouTube?? I’m still figuring out what this will look like, but I want to get some of my original music out there in 2023, and recording at my leisure is easier on my health than performing live.Do the CHOP protocol. This is a gentle, gradual exercise program designed for people with my health conditions; I’ve been needing to start it for years, but just haven’t been able to because of the severity of my symptoms.Get new headshots done. Something else that I meant to do this year, but it just never happened.Fun stuff: Noah Kahan concert, Sabrina Carpenter concert, Maryland wedding, Joshua senior trip and graduation, see Wicked at the Fox. I’m really looking forward to all of these things! (And I also need to leave space for spontaneity instead of planning out the entire year before it even starts, geez.)Have a prayer time every day. I pray a lot, but it’s typically a distracted, half-aware background conversation as I’m going about my day. I’m going to start setting a timer and sitting down to fully focus on listening and talking to God.My biggest priorities are writing fiction and CHOP, but these two things keep getting derailed by health stuff. Next year I also want to get better at taking videos in addition to photos–just little clips of daily life to have on hand. And I may set some kind of goal for less stimulation, like zero Internet or social media after 7 PM and/or on Sundays. I’m not sure–I was going to sit down during the last week of the year and think more about goals/plans/dreams, but I ended up in the hospital that entire week, so. 2023 is not off to a good start for me, but I know there will be good and beautiful things coming my way this year!
What did 2022 hold for you–both good and bad? I’d love to hear about it! Drop some highlights from your year in the comments.
