Raw and Unfiltered
“Don’t talk about that.” “Keep that to yourself.” “Don’t be so dark, it depresses other people. and no one wants to be around you.”
It seems in an attempt at “keeping up appearances”, that when we show a darker side of our lives, it makes everyone uncomfortable. I will go on record and say that I disagree with that assessment.
Oh, don’t get me wrong, there are certainly those among us that become increasingly uncomfortable the more “raw” our conversations become. In a world that is becoming more and more defined by social media, it’s considered somewhat awkward to share about your faults, failures, and fears. After all, what will people think? Maybe they’ll think you’re just trying to gain some sympathy or affirmation. Maybe they’ll think you just can’t seem to “let go” or “find peace.” Or, perhaps, they just don’t want to admit that they have issues too. We’ve got to keep those things in the closet, otherwise, when they get out, they’re going to wreck everything we’ve tried to build.
Over the past two years, Michelle and I, quite accidentally, discovered a different path. As we’ve grieved the loss of a child, the transition from one country back to another, and all the other things that have occurred along the way, we’ve tried to be transparent about what our journey has been like.
Honestly, we didn’t start off trying to help anyone but ourselves. Discussing our journey has been cathartic. The vulnerability was warm and embracing. Putting our raw journey to paper involved a lot of tears, but even they were healing.
What we didn’t expect was the impact that our raw and unfiltered journey would have on others. Often, when you are in great pain, it’s difficult to see beyond yourself and into the pain that so many others are walking through. It’s comforting to know that you are not alone. That is the healing power of transparent, vulnerable, and raw communication.
The deception is this is that we should then have the answers. “If you’re vulnerability has no solutions, then it’s just darkness – and that’s not helpful.” I disagree. It helps me to see into the soul of another human being who is walking, courageously, a path that is still difficult and wrought full of pain and grief. It helps me to know that if they can walk it, so can I. If they still struggle, but fight, then I can too. It validates that I’m not weak just because I still hurt and I still cry and I’m still angry. It tells me that it’s okay to have unanswered questions and still believe that God is good.
Many of the conclusions that Michelle and I have drawn concerning our journey over the last two years, may be edited later. We don’t have all the answers and the few we think we have could be way off course. Yet, we’ll continue to share them, changing them when necessary, in all their raw and unfiltered nature. Why? Because we’ve been shown that our pain can be a place for someone else’s comfort. Our victory can be someone else’s testimony of hope. And even when we get it wrong, our striving after truth can be someone else’s freedom to pursue HIM themselves.
Don’t let your pain, fear, failures, disappointments and other obstacles be swept under a rug and hidden. Let people inside. It’s often dark and sometimes there are monsters – but when you open the door, the light shines in and the monsters disappear. People see you raw and unfiltered – the ones that stick around are the ones that God will use to bring healing to your pain and allow you to bring healing to theirs.
Peace.
