A Pile of Ashes
“Light the fire in my soul, fan the flame, make me whole. Lord, You know just where I’ve been, so light the fire in my heart again.” Light the Fire by Bill Maxwell
Sometimes we look at the disappointment, pain and failures of life and feel like all our hopes and dreams have burned to the ground. We see nothing but a pile of ashes and the loss of those things that we had built a life around. As Michelle and I have walked through a season of intense pain and disappointment, we’ve had to fight against the desire to quit or give up. We have a big pile of ashes, but that can’t be our focus. Ashes are the result of an intense fire. Knowing that, I can’t help but look at our ashes and our loss and think, “what a blaze that must have been.”
One of my favorite historical figures (if you can call him that) was Jim Elliot. He literally gave his life for the Gospel of Jesus Christ as he went to minister in Ecuador. He was also a prolific journal writer. He wrote many amazing and revelatory things in his journal over his short life.
One of my favorites is this:
“’He makes His ministers a flame of fire.’ Am I ignitable? God deliver me from the dread asbestos of ‘other things.’ Saturate me with the oil of the Spirit that I may be a flame. But flame is transient, often short-lived. Canst thou bear this, my soul – short life? In me there dwells the Spirit of the Great Short-Lived, whose zeal for God’s house consumed Him. ‘Make me Thy Fuel, Flame of God.”
All too often we live life for the benefit of ourselves or, maybe more honorific and selfless, our family. We want safety and security, so we vigorously plan and insure our future. We fall on the common and responsible rationalization that we are simply being “good stewards” with what God has given us. That may be true enough, but what is it doing to our fire?
In the days and weeks following the death of our daughter, I reviewed my life’s choices many times over. The evaluation always began with “what if.” What if we had never moved to Turkey? What if I made Aly stay with us after she turned 18? What if I lose someone else? What if, what if, what if.
When we base our God-given purpose on “what if” rather than “yes, Lord”, we have already begun to apply the “dread asbestos” to our lives and quench the fire and passion for the things of God. Even when the “what if’s” lead us to do the seemingly “responsible” things. When we put our safety and security above our mandate to follow after God, we have effectively traded the Kingdom of Heaven for something else.
Let me clarify. There is nothing inherently wrong with safety and planning for the future. We ARE instructed to be good stewards with what our heavenly Father has given us, and should do that to the best of our abilities. It becomes “fire quenching” when our security becomes the foundation of how and why we live our lives.
When we become motivated by safety and security, we will struggle to keep fanning the flames, because the fire will threaten everything we’ve tried to secure.
Hebrews 12:28-29 says, “Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom which cannot be shaken, let us have grace, by which we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear. For our God is a consuming fire.”
If He is a consuming fire, and we desire to stand in His presence, then the logical conclusion is that His fire will consume us. The word “consume” means, “to do away with completely, use up, destroy.” The bottom line is that we are not here to live safe lives. We are here for a purpose, and that purpose is to advance HIS kingdom and lead others to the all consuming fire of His presence.
When Christ is our foundation, a relationship that is built on faith, our security comes from the trust and assurance that He will give us beauty for any ashes that are the result of setting ourselves on fire for Him.
The amazing thing about it is that in the fire of His presence there is peace and joy – they coexist with the fire. In fact, in my experience, true peace and true joy can ONLY be found in the His presence. Do not be deceived, the fire is hot and it hurts when things are burned to ashes, but we are moving toward a Kingdom of hope and purpose, where “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” (Revelation 21:4 ESV)
Light the fire in my soul again, Lord and I’ll let it burn.
Peace.
