(13/15) “There’s a pep rally at the beginning of every season....

(13/15) “There’s a pep rally at the beginning of every season. Everyone’s there: the white flowers, the straw bosses, the elves. First we go through all the Human Resources stuff. Then the person on stage will pause, and say: ‘Do I hear jingle bells?’ And everyone goes crazy. Then he explodes into the room, wearing full parade suit. He makes his way to the stage. He recites The Night Before Christmas; everybody’s crying. Then we all line up, we go through the maze, and everyone has their own private visit with Santa. Look, I know who it is. I’ve had coffee with him. But this mask of sparkle and tinsel comes over my eyes; and I just see Santa. I’ve asked him for some very personal things. Not things, things. Things you can’t hold. On the night Jack learned it was all a dupe, I was a nervous wreck. A white flower came into my house, and whispered in my ear: ‘They’re here.’ I took a deep breath. And prepared to tell my son that I’ve been lying to him his entire life. Jack comes in wearing my old leather jacket. And Tabatha’s red scarf. I say: ‘Hello, Merry Christmas.’ And right away, he knows. He says: ‘What the hell, Dad?’ I pat the bench next to me, and motion for him to sit down. I say: ‘Hey buddy, what’s up?’ He’s just looking at me. I show him the Lego Santa on the shelf. I say: ‘I want you to know that I haven’t been working in men’s shoes these last ten years.’ And he goes: ‘Really?’ And I see it. I see it starting to click. ‘You’re right,’ I tell him. ‘It’s impossible for Santa to do what he does in one night. But he did exist. His name was St. Nicholas. And he was so kind, and so giving, that his legend grew over hundreds of years. And now during Christmas, we keep his spirit alive by becoming Santa Claus. Not only am I Santa Claus, but Mommy is Santa Claus. And Nonna is Santa Claus. And Uncle Steve is Santa Claus. And Uncle Anthony is Santa Claus. And now, because you’re of age, I’ve brought you here. To bestow the power of Santa Claus onto you.’ He started to cry. And I started to cry. And the elves started crying, and the white flower, and the straw boss. Then I looked up. It couldn’t be. A Christmas miracle. I said: ‘Tabatha, babe. Are you cwying?’”