Petty People Suck. That is All.

 I won't give you full details, it's not necessary. Every one of us has (if we're older than 15) worked for or with people who can be insanely petty over issues that matter nothing! Things that should not be a problem become a problem for these people, and I have to chalk it up to both inexperience and immaturity. It doesn't matter if the person(s) are adults, there just seems to be a lack of cognitive thinking going on inside the heads of so many coworkers that you just really wish you could say exactly what you want to say without being canned for your honesty.  This is the fate my good friend from church is having at the moment.  Let me explain.

    My friend, we'll call her "Sue", works for a company whose reputation is fantastic! This company has a Fortune 500 rating, it's up there with the big dogs. She is in the back off working with others who, like her, are support staff for those who make the wheels turn. The deals are made and Sue is one of the ribs on that brilliant chest and structure that creates all the flesh that goes on the bones to make the whole thing look really great. You know what I mean, right? She's a worker bee. She's not a peon, she's not upper management. She pushes paper, enters data, checks data, verifies, and she really loves her job. What she doesn't love is the fact that there are at least three others in the office who for no reason either pick on her for her lack of experience, or try to catch her when she's either potentially made a mistake or needs help. They'll say something out loud like "You can't delete that p.o.? I showed you how at least twice."  Or they'll ask "did you correct that entry I sent you earlier?"  When she says she didn't receive any email or correspondence asking for a revision, she's met with "Yes, I sent it, you must have deleted it." Well, she tells me she went to her deleted emails and there was nothing there. It seems to me these co-workers, all of which are WAY younger than Sue, only want to stir up a bit of trouble since Sue has more experience in the industry, has an education, and knows several of the clients personally.  Maybe she shouldn't have mentioned that but the fact that she is so valuable to the company should be celebrated, not deliberately degraded for her expertise. 

    Sure, these younger workers are faster with tech, they know more about programs that older employees used but haven't needed to keep up with upgrades necessarily. Most older folks, myself included, would love to be trained or retrained to use the new bells and whistles. We shouldn't have to feel inferior to anyone, just train properly when a new employee comes on board, and if they need more help, give it. Wouldn't they want to be treated with respect? I'm sure they would.  Sue called me after work today and told me that she's just about had it with "the kids on the playground" and I knew what she meant.  One asked her if she had put the paper into the copier the wrong way AGAIN? She had never put the paper in the copier, to begin with; it was a ploy to say AGAIN out loud to make her look like she didn't know what she was doing. Another refused to answer when she was directly asked about a deadline; saying she wasn't Sue's trainer or her mentor, and that she really didn't want to get involved with her work "just in case" it was faulty. Hey, hello! You work on the same damn team! Stop being a brat!

    I asked Sue if she was aware of any salary differences; maybe the younger ones are upset because Sue comes in as a valued employee who has been in the industry before and has licenses to boot. She has a five-star education and has worked in London, Chicago, New York, and Dallas in the industry. She owned an accounting firm for years. She just wants to work now, and not be in charge. Is that OK or does she need to get their permission? She's going to start a job making more than the "less aged" do or did, it only makes sense that maybe they are upset thinking that if she's being paid more she should already KNOW the job! No, that's not how it works folks. No one comes in knowing the job. Training can take months and even years depending on the details that have to be met, and in that industry, there are a lot of moving parts. Accuracy is more important than speed. The kids have speed. No doubt about it, but the bigger mistakes can be pinned on those who are impatient and not those who work steady-eddy, trying to get the boxes checked and the numbers verified. Again, it's a team thing, there's no room for the petty silly games that some people play.

    I asked Sue if she had taken the issue to HR yet; as HR has an obligation to protect her from any professional or workplace bullying.  Age discrimination could play a role, but it's probably more than that.  I hate using the word "bully", but it is what it is. When they gang up on you, talk about you behind your back, lie about you, and make others feel uncomfortable around you, that's bullying. Sue hadn't spoken to HR yet but says that if it becomes an issue this week she'll do so.  I don't blame her. You need to cut the head off that snake; the only problem is that it's much easier sometimes for a corporation to replace a newbie who hasn't been fully trained than to release someone who has the routines down for the most part. Still, trained or not, if others are being bullied, the bully needs to face the music! I'm not saying someone needs to be terminated, but an open line of communication needs to be directed by HR if the immediate supervisor hasn't been able to fix it. I am all about the chain of command; I hope Sue has confidence in her supervisor and can express her concerns without fear of retaliation. It's a tricky balancing act.  On one hand, you want to say "be a bit thicker-skinned" and on the other hand, you should never be made to feel unworthy by those who share the same space as you. 

    I know in my own personal life, I've been lied about by those who I was working with when they found out I made more money than they did. I never said it, but you know they have friends in payroll, or they snuck a peek at an email that was on my desktop. You can't always hide the facts from those who know tech fairly well. I've even had them go into my computer, delete emails and ask me later if I received one. When I check, I say no, but then it was proven through forensics that someone deleted them from my workspace when I was at lunch! C'mon people! STOP the madness. We're not on this Earth long enough to be so gosh darned immature to one another.  The person I'm talking about is 23 and I was 57 I think. I was the same age as her mom and she hated her mom. She took to lying about me in ways she wanted to lie about her mom to the point that other coworkers asked me (finally) why I said this or that. I HAD NOT!  The thing is, you (the person being lied about) have NO IDEA what has happened and maybe they never will know, and that's just WRONG!  So many levels wrong.

    It's hard to be 100% honest these days at work or anywhere else because you run the risk of offending someone. Everyone is offended so easily, but isn't it offensive to find out that someone is telling mistruths and half-truths about you and then others feel they can't trust you with their personal information? One of Sue's coworkers, an older lady, told her today to not become friends with anyone at the office but to do her work and go home. Wow. Isn't that a sad case too? To think that you can't befriend coworkers who you spend hours and hours with every day? Times are changing, but they are not changing for the good.  I know I've complained to my daughters in the past, that it seems younger coworkers don't come in and say "Good morning" to anyone. They slip quietly into their desks with their headphones in their ears and almost dare you to say something to them. It's not a good vibe. The older people, on the other hand, spend a few minutes catching up on a Monday morning to see how everyone's weekend was, and they offer a few of their own experiences. Tell me that's not the way it should be! We should ENJOY going to work, not feel that we are being slighted or separated. We should embrace our team or make one!

    Well, that's enough I suppose. I'll wait to see how Sue is treated tomorrow before giving her any more advice. I think maybe speaking to the supervisor first is best, but if she can't get the bud nipped she has a grievance to file with HR if it continues. Why should a good hard and valued worker be subjected to immature nastiness from people who, though they know their job, have no idea what commemoratory means? Be kind, people. 

Photo Credit: Indiatimes.com