Embracing my Fears - The journey to reconnecting with my creative self.

When I am in flow, words find me. I don’t have to search. The scenes reveal themselves and I capture them within dialogue and description. It feels like floating. Euphoric bliss.

When I cannot write, panic swells, becoming a tidal wave of fear and anxiety. Growing strength within the storm of expectation and disappointment. The wave crashes and fills up all the spaces. Dilutes every color to grey. Drags words away with ferocity. And I’m pulled down by the undertow of desperation until I’m swallowed up and cannot find the surface. I’m anchored in the dark depths by paralyzing doubts.

The first time the flood of fear disrupted my creativity, I sought medical advice. I had to be diagnosed, analyzed, medicated, because there must've been something wrong with me. I had to be fixed.

At this time, I also opened myself up to spirituality. I read. I learned. I listened. Through consistent meditative practices, I experienced true calm for the first time in my life.

After years of patience, I tapped back into my creative flow. And I felt my work was the best I'd ever written. I was so connected to the story while in my bliss bubble. Except… when I stepped out of this space of creation, I was once again overcome by fear and desperation upon its release. And so it was lost, and so was I.

I recently came upon a powerful message that I knew was speaking directly to me:

Don’t create in belief, then wait in fear.

Because that's what I did. And I find myself continuing to do if I'm not aware. I tap into the place of creation with full surrender and trust. I believe in the process. Then when it's time to share that work with the world, I flounder in the rapids. Second guessing myself. Fearful of rejection. Of failure. And that fear engulfs me, influencing every decision I make. And that energy affects how that story is received, no matter how much love I pour into the pages.

My inner critic was born long before I became an author. I devoted my spiritual practice to tracing back that tidal wave to its origin ripple so that I may heal. Except, healing is an evolution not a destination. When I seek one ripple, I find there is another. It has been an emotional journey of release and self-discovery. I continue to learn how to not allow my creativity to be dictated by obligation.

The greatest lesson I've learning... I don’t have to do this alone.

I’ve welcomed some truly gifted and passionate creators into my life over the years. Some who are also on a spiritual path. We learn from each other. We encourage each other. We believe in each other. Connection is powerful. It’s why I can’t say goodbye to the writers after I've finished teaching the writing courses I've offered the past few years. (rebeccadonovan.com/writers-seminar) I still want to be a part of their creative process by cheering them on and providing guidance however I can. I am a writer. A mentor. A teacher. And most recently, an editor. (rebeccadonvan.com/editing) I'm honored when each of these writers allows me into their lives.

These relationships inspired me to launch The Creative Way along with two of my friends – Janet Hagan Hudson and Chelsea Fine.

Janet has been orchestrating writing retreats all over the world through her company Next Chapter Retreats for years. She has such vast knowledge and experience, I knew she could expertly organize the event.

Chelsea has been an integral part of my spiritual exploration and healing. She is a truly loving spiritual leader and a gift to this world.

It’s our intention to offer retreats that connect us with our creative selves. To explore the storytelling and creative process while encouraging spiritual growth. To empower creators to embrace their gifts, to elevate their voices, and tell their stories.



Our first retreat aligns with the solar eclipse in Aries on April 20, 2023. It will take place at a truly majestic location in Chalmita, Mexico – Centro Nierika. (http://centronierika.net) We’re calling this retreat: The Elementals of Storytelling.

Over four days, we will integrate the elements and planetary energies to tap into our creative energy. We’ll connect with the divine feminine energy of creation and the inner child energy of play and imagination. Each day, we'll unveil what's holding us back. Silence the critic. Activate our voices. Connect with our intuition. And open ourselves up to the story that’s waiting to be told.

You're welcome to explore the details here: rebeccadonovan.com/creativeway

Join me as I continue along this life altering journey. Whether through my stories, my teachings, or by witnessing my experiences. I want to share what I learn. And tell stories from my heart. I’ll continue to learn how to overcome my fears and embrace my gifts.

Thank you for allowing me to share this with you. Thank you for listening.