The End of NaNoWriMo

Woman crossing the finish line

Sorry I missed last week; with Thanksgiving fast approaching, time got away from me and I’m still trying to catch up. But I am super proud to announce that I wrote every single day this month except for one. I might not have been as diligent with updating my daily word count as I would have liked, but I successfully completed NaNoWriMo 2022!

And to celebrate that accomplishment, I’m going to share some of what I’ve been working on this month. I didn’t finish the manuscript like I originally wanted, but because of all the progress I’ve made this month, I feel confident I can have a first draft finished by the end of the year and can send a manuscript I feel good about to agents in 2023.

So enjoy and please, if you take the time to read it which I appreciate more than I can ever properly communicate, please comment or reach out and let me know what you think. Getting as many eyes on my writing is simply invaluable.

Happy Writer Wednesday! And enjoy

Duke had never heard it called a “repast,” but he knew it was customary for loved ones to gather for a meal after a funeral. All the mourners had gathered at the local banquet hall, the only one in town, for a buffet lunch. He sat on a thin black chair with a flat cushion. Everything in the room seemed dark. The carpet was forest green but made him think of vomit more than anything else. The thick, scratchy curtains hanging in front of the windows were the same shade. They’d been pulled close because there was nothing to see outside except a parking lot and a gray winter sky. It was so fucking depressing. The lights were on, but the light was weak.

Aurora had gotten up at some point and returned with a plate full of catered food: penne in watery vodka sauce that stained the white plate pink, salad with the stinging smell of the vinaigrette dressing, and chicken in golden brown breading that slid off the minute anyone tried to cut into it. It made him sick, the whole thing. Uncle Rick deserved a better send off.

Aurora held his hand underneath the table. She gave it a gentle squeeze every now and then, and she’d softly whisper, “Eat.” He nodded, but that was it. To eat, he’d have to let go of her hand, and that would leave him completely untethered. He couldn’t do that, couldn’t bear that, so he just stared at the plate. It was better than looking at the stupid, sad, pitying faces of the mourners who filed past on the way to the buffet line. He couldn’t stand looking at them looking at him with pity or condemnation or disappointment.

He remembered Aurora handling all that. She’d responded in soft tones, thanking and consoling. He didn’t really hear her words, but the tone, the melody of her voice, came through loud and clear. It washed over him and that was all he wanted and needed.

He leaned closer to her and put his mouth against her ear to whisper, “Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

She turned to him with worry and concern. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Seriously?” It was a stupid question.

Aurora knew it and flashed a small smile.

“I can’t take any more of this,” he admitted. His voice cracked at the end and his whole body was threatening to collapse in on itself. He didn’t want to break in front of these random people who knew and loved Uncle Rick but had never fucking bothered to get to know Duke, his adopted son. He took a deep breath. “Leave with me,” he begged, hating the way his voice echoed in his ears, so weak and pathetic.

“Okay,” Aurora said. “Let me just give the card to Eric so he can pay and square things up at the end.”

“I’ll be outside,” he said. He stood up and left Aurora before she could leave him at the table. He snatched his coat from the back of his chair without slowing and knocked the stupid thing over. He could almost hear the eyes of everyone sliding in their sockets to get a good look at the fuck-up about to go to pieces. They were craving a scene. His skin was hot but his face suddenly cooled and he was terrified he was going to puke in front of all those looky-loos, those awful spectators. He staggered to the exit and nearly fell through the heavy double doors. But once he was outside, he breathed in deep. The winter air was so sharp and cold, and he was gulping it down, walking in mindless circles just outside the doors.

“Duke,” Aurora said. Her voice, that beautiful melody, brought him back to the moment. Her brown eyes were wide. “You don’t look so good. Do you want me to take you home?”

He shook his head. “Come with me.” He held out his hand to her.

Even with the skepticism clear as day on her face, she took slow steps towards him. Her high heels clicked loudly against the pavement and the sound echoed in the winter air. “Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes, of course,” he said as he rushed forward to grab her hand. “Let’s go to the beach.”

“The beach? Duke, it’s freezing.” She was only pointing out the obvious. It wasn’t a refusal. She’d never refuse him anything.

“Please, Aurora.” He held her hand in his against his chest. “You don’t have to get out. You can stay in the car.”

“I’m not going to leave you alone,” she said. “Let’s go.”

The silence that followed the closing of the car doors was heavy. The air was different in the confined space, and he had trouble moving it through his lungs in its thickness. He could feel Aurora’s eyes on him and he knew that she was watching and waiting for him to explode. He knew her well enough to know she’d breathe easier if he screamed or cried or punched the dashboard. Normally, he would do all of those things, but he was too tired and too empty to do anything other than breathe, and even that was taking more energy than it should.

She didn’t say anything, just shifted the car into reverse. The pair was on its way. The music was loud and the wind roared through the window Duke had opened as he smoked cigarette after cigarette all the way down to the filter. He watched Aurora struggle to keep her long, wavy hair behind her ears. She pulled strands from her eyelashes and from the corners of her lips, but she never opened her mouth to complain and she never asked him to close his window.

He looked at the burning cigarette currently between his fingers and seriously considered holding it to his palm until the skin there burned as punishment for all the ways he tested Aurora’s patience.

She parked Duke’s truck at the far end of the boardwalk, way away from the crowded bars and overpriced shops. She killed the engine and he was out of the car before she could even turn to him, let alone say anything. He crossed the boards and paused once he hit the sand to remove his dress shoes and expensive socks, and he left them in a haphazard pile. He trekked onward, toward the water, unbuckling and yanking his belt free. He let it fall where it may and as he strolled, his undid his pants, let them fall around his ankles, and stepped out of them. She was shouting behind him, but he didn’t turn around. He unbuttoned his jacket and shimmied out of it as he marched ever closer to the water, and he did the same with his dress shirt after he pulled the tie loose, tore it off, and threw it away from him. He reached behind him to grab a handful of his undershirt and he pulled it up and over his head, stepping over it as it fell to the sand. All he had left before becoming naked was his underwear, and he’d discard those once his feet hit the hard packed sand that marked the shoreline.

Naked, he ran into the churning waters. When it was deep enough to dive, he did exactly that. He swam a couple yards from the shore and couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so peaceful. Everything around him seemed crisp and bright, no longer dulled by drugs or pain or expectations. He just had to hold his breath and kick his legs and use his arms to push and pull his way through the water. All of a sudden, it made perfect sense to him that water was essential for the survival for all known forms of life even though it had no calories or nutrients, because it had something else. If he had been smarter, like Aurora, he would have thought of words like salvation and redemption. But Duke’s head was clear when it broke the surface, and that was good enough for him. He looked back at the shore and saw Aurora scrambling to collect his clothes.

“Leave them,” he yelled, cupping his hands around his mouth. “Come on in! The water’s great!”

“It’ll get ruined! It’s your only suit!”

“Fuck it,” Duke yelled. Aurora didn’t stop or slow, and Duke realized there was only one thing to be done. He swam back to the shore as fast as he could and ran onto the sand, rushing towards Aurora. He picked her up in his arms and swung her up over his shoulder. He hurried back to the water.

“Duke, stop!” Aurora pleaded. “It’s too cold and this dress was expensive!”

Duke did stop and set Aurora on the sand in front of him. “It’s not that cold,” he said. He was smiling and breathless. “Take it off.”

Aurora’s face burned. “Excuse me?” She crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s gotten into you?” She seemed unsure, but she was smiling, so Duke decided to press his luck.

“Take off your dress and come swimming with me.”

Aurora suddenly spun away from Duke. “Christ, Duke, you’re naked.”

“Come swimming with me,” he said. The salt water dripped from his hair into his eyes. He dragged his hands along his face to dry it and waved the excess water toward Aurora. “Take off your dress and come swimming.”

“Duke,” Aurora groaned. “This isn’t normal.”

“Fuck normal,” Duke laughed. “Either come in of your own accord, or I’ll throw you over my shoulder.”

Slowly, she turned back around to face him. “This is really what you want? To go swimming?”

He reached for her hand. He held it and steadied his gaze. “Yes. Please, Aurora. You know how much I love the ocean. This shouldn’t be that big of a surprise.”

She chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. “Alright,” she finally relented. “Turn around and start heading for the water.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want you to see me naked.”

Duke rolled his eyes and released her hand. “Oh, come–”

“It’s not negotiable.”

He stepped closer and reached around to the back of Aurora’s dress. He found the zipper and pulled it slowly but steadily, listening to her quick and shallow breaths.

She caught the dress before it could fall. “Duke,” she said in a trembling voice. “I’m right behind you, I promise. Just start going.”

He did as she asked but only after planting a quick, soft kiss on her lips.

He stood waist deep in the cold water, waiting to hear splashing nearby so he could turn and welcome Aurora. But she never did anything like he imagined she would, and her entrance into the water was soundless. She startled him when she spoke from somewhere close behind him. “This is insane.”

He spun to face her. She was trying to hide herself underneath her arms. He waded over and gently laid his hands on her arms covered in goosebumps. “What poet wrote that people were never ever going to survive unless they got a little crazy?”

She snorted. “That’s a Seal song.”

As she smiled, he pulled her arms away. He pulled her closer to him, deeper into the water. “You’re amazing, Aurora.”

She shook her head and averted her gaze. “You don’t have to say that, Duke.”

“I know I don’t,” he said. “I wanted to say that so I did.”

The conversation was moving into uncomfortable territory. It was an odd situation, a weird place to try and right all the hurtful wrongs of the past, but Duke always felt most at home and most at peace near the sea. That had never been true for Aurora, and though the water gently urged her in his direction, she stood her ground. “You’re upset, Duke. Let’s get you home and get you dry.”

“You hate the water.”

“No, I don’t. We’ve just left a funeral and it’s freezing. I’m tired and cranky.”

“Would you look at me, please?”

She raised her eyes to his. He wanted to tell her so many things. And he probably should have because that likely would have changed what came next. But he just gave her a quick kiss on the lips and said, “Okay, we can go now.”

Back in the truck, he was shivering so hard his teeth were clacking together. He tried to gulp the noise to muffle it so Aurora wouldn’t freak out and tell him again how stupid he was for swimming in the ocean in March. But she was grabbing blankets from the back seat and wrapping him in them.

“I didn’t even know those were in here,” he said.

“Lucky us. Maybe it’s a sign we were supposed to go to the beach,” she grinned. She wrapped one around herself and then asked, “So where to?”

“Don’t take me home,” he blurted out. “I can’t go there.”

“Okay, okay,” she soothed. She thought for a moment. “We can go to my house.”

“Your parents aren’t there, are they?”

“No,” she said, rolling her eyes. “They’re visiting my older sister in Virginia. She likes you, if that helps.”

“Yeah, but she’s not in the state.”

“You just can never win, can you?” she teased. He turned the radio up and the conversation stopped. They rode in silence to her house.

When they pulled into her driveway, neither of them moved to exit the car right away. She turned in the seat to fully face him. “How are you feeling?”

He looked down at his hands. “I don’t know.”

She nodded. That was the only movement.

“You wanna just sit here?”

He nodded.

It was a minute before Duke started sobbing. Aurora gathered him to her arms, shushing him and smoothing his hair. He leaned into the embrace.

Please comment and let me know what you think!

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