That's My Chair!
[image error]I spent a lot of time this weekend around a dinner table due to the holidays. And it made me think, as I often do when participating in dinner rituals, about the dynamics of table seating—who sits where and why.
When there is a formal occasion that requires place cards, people spend hours figuring out who should or should not sit with whom. They create tables for kids who are old enough to sit by themselves; tables for families with young kids; tables for relatives; tables for friends; tables for orphans (you know, the people NO ONE wants to sit with). Usually, when you attend one of these events, you can look around at your tablemates and know why you're there. For most of my family events, I'm seated at the cousins table, guaranteeing that I'll have plenty of people to talk to and laugh with. I've apparently behaved well enough, and embarrassed few enough people that I'm not relegated to the orphans table. My snarky comments are either dead on or extremely forgettable. My husband will also have fun because he'll hear stories of us from when we were kids (no, the embarrassment NEVER ends) and he'll have enough experience with the cousins to participate in the storytelling.
At his family events, we usually sit with our immediate family—parents, siblings, etc. Occasionally there are some random people thrown in, but the mixture usually works. There's always someone to talk to and because we know each other so well, it's comfortable. And there are always enough lawyers at the table to ensure the legal conversation never lags, the beginning of which is usually my cue to get up and dance.
When we attend events for friends, there's a core group of us who sit together. We laugh and joke around and have a great time. Everyone is comfortable and the snarky comments fly. Whether we get up to dance or choose to sit at the table the entire time, we leave the event knowing we had fun.
At these types of events, it's not just who sits at your table that is of concern, but where in the room your table is placed. Are you close to the kitchen? That can be good, if you like to be the first to sample the food, or bad, if you don't like traffic. Close to the music? There are lots more to talk about if you're confident no one is going to hear you. [image error] Close to the door—how soon do you want to sneak out? Are you near other similar tables where you can make friends with the surrounding tables, or join in with your friends who aren't sitting directly next to you?
In my own home, though, as well as in the homes of others, the arrangement around the table never ceases to fascinate me. Who sits closest to the kitchen so that they can help the host/hostess? Who makes sure to sit farthest away, ensuring they can spend the entire time sitting? Who sits closest to the kids—is it the mother, ensuring her kids behave or is it the grandparent, who delights in the proximity of his grandchildren and loves letting them get away with things that make their parents cringe? Some people choose their seats based on the chair; others by the placement. I know I tend to steer my dad and my daughter to the folding chairs, knowing their penchant for spilling (the dog likes to follow them, too).
So the next time you're at the table, look around and give it some thought. Where do you sit?
