Who am I and what I am doing here?

Yes, this is my birthday cake.

I did not want a store-bought cake this year. I wanted to bake it myself. I used the stand mixer from the forties that I inherited from my grandmother last summer to bake her chocolate cake in her cake pans, using her measuring spoons and measuring cups and in that way foil any possibility of my screwing it up. And you know what? I still screwed it up, couldn't get the damned thing out of the pan. So I plopped it all on a plate, poured the frosting over it, and stuck the candles in.

And guess what?

It was the best damned delicious cake I have ever eaten.