Can the Grieving Know Happiness and Joy? – A Man’s Journey Through Grief, continued, #24
Ever since Mary Helen was called home, a verse has challenged me. “This is the day that the Lord hath made; I will rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24, KJV). How is that possible? Is this rejoicing supposed to be an act of my will? How can I work up enough determination to be joyous in my loneliness for Mary Helen? That doesn’t sound possible. I wonder if I can ever be happy again. I’m being honest here.
Maybe there’s another meaning here. The NIV translates it to say, “Let us rejoice and be glad in it.” Is this a corporate, group request? And, when we look at the context of the whole Psalm, the writer is in anguish, crying out to the Lord in the face of enemies “who swarm around me like bees” (vs. 10-13). In this dangerous situation, he celebrates the enduring love of God (vs. 1-4) and the presence of the LORD as his helper and refuge. He celebrates the LORD’s deliverance with “shouts of joy and victory” for “the LORD’s right hand has done mighty things!” (vs. 15). He has hope although the LORD has chastened him. He gives thanks for his salvation.
Then as we look at the immediate context of my problem verse, it becomes a Messianic prediction. “The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone; the LORD has done this and it is marvelous in our eyes. This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (vs. 22-24). The rejected stone is a clear prophecy of Jesus Christ. (See Mat. 21:42; Mark 12:1-211) And what follows in the text is suggestive of his triumphal entry.
With that clarification, I can see how to “rejoice and be glad in this day.” For this day is the day of redemption. It encompasses the coming of Jesus Christ who, though rejected by the Jewish leaders has become the capstone. He is the stone on which all of salvation rests. All of redemptive history revolves around his coming, death, and resurrection. My own forgiveness for my sins and thus my justification, my adoption into God’s family, the ongoing sanctification through the indwelling Spirit, and my hope of heaven rests upon this STONE. The whole of the Christian Church rests on this foundation. In that I can rejoice and do so most every day.
But back to my original problem. Can I find happiness and joy again after loss? I don’t think God expects me to be hilariously joyful in Mary Helen’s death, although she is now in heaven rejoicing. Jesus didn’t rejoice, but wept, at Lazurus’ grave. He knows we are human. With so much of the Psalms being given over to lament, I don’t think God expects the Ukrainians to take joy as they see another apartment building destroyed, or Haitians in the chaos of their country, or a person suffering through cancer. But we can rejoice each day in our Saviour and his salvation.
Besides this joy, is there any other way for a grieving person like me to find a measure of happiness? While reading in my devotions I came to the stark, apparent pessimism of Ecclesiastes. The Teacher who wrote the book, probably Solomon, tried to find enjoyment in seeking wisdom, building great projects, amassing wealth, tasting every kind of pleasure but found that “everything was meaningless, a chasing after wind” (Eccl. 2:11).
In spite of this pessimism, there is instruction given of how to find joy and satisfaction. “A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment? To the man who pleases him God give wisdom, knowledge and happiness…” (Eccl 2:24-26). Enjoyment begins with acknowledging that God, who gives us every good gift, is the giver of enjoyment.
Enjoying Wildflowers & Nature
This theme is repeated in chapter 5. “It is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him—for this is his lot. Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work—this is the gift of God” (Eccl. 18,19).
This sounds almost like hedonism. Of course, John Piper explained in his book, Christian Hedonism, enjoyment—especially in God, himself—is not wrong. In fact, as the catechism explains, “the chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever.” To take it further, enjoyment of the gifts God has given is to be pursued. “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17) “Trust …in the living God, who gives us richly all things to enjoy” (1 Tim. 6:17)hat then can I do as a grieving husband to find enjoyment and satisfaction.
Enjoying Nature and Road Trips
First and foremost, I need to celebrate salvation, rejoice in God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—who has given me not only eternal life but all good things to enjoy.I can enjoy gathering with God’s people for worship, Bible study, prayer, and mutual encouragement. This is a gift of God.I can find joy in my family, truly gifts of God. I can enjoy devotions and prayer that leads me to daily celebrate God’s grace.Without either gluttony or addiction, I can enjoy the foods God has given. I am learning to cook tasty and enjoyable meals.I can find satisfaction in some God-given task. A friend who is in a wheelchair has adopted the task of praying for Ontario pastors. This gives him great joy. I find joy and satisfaction in my writing about our lives, the progress of grief, and the attributes of God. I’m also beginning to find joy in Mary Helen’s specialty, phoning people and writing cards. I can enjoy God’s creation, for example, by travel, identifying plants and birds, and taking photos.
Enjoying familyAs I enjoy these gifts of God, I find my overt grief recedes. I wish Mary Helen could enjoy them with me but she is enjoying the presence of Christ. This is my lot as determined by God’s grace. I will always have memories along with occasional outbursts of deep grief but gradually a measure of enjoyment begins to pervade my days.
Enjoying food(Let me know your thoughts on this subject. If you appreciate this blog, please pass it on. Further articles, books, and stories at: Facebook: Eric E Wright Twitter: @EricEWright1 LinkedIn: Eric Wright ; check out his web site: www.countrywindow.ca –– Eric’s books are available at: https://www.amazon.com/Eric-E.-Wright/e/B00355HPKK%3Fref=dbs_a_mng_rwt_scns_share)
