My Idiotic Twitter End Game Strategy

I always come to things late so missing the boat on Twitter and drowning in the sea of faceless followers is no big surprise…

How can you be 'fruitful and multiply' your own followers in a minimal amount of time? - A familiar, kicking myself in the ass and banging my head against the wall as I should have been cultivating this even before Twitter was a gleam in someone's eye…

So taking a page out of Chinese Tweeters of whom it seems have the same sort of deal as an Airplane Miles credit card- you sign up and get an automatic 200,000 followers- Thank goodness it is following and not swallowing; I'd need a surfboard and hazmat suit for that kind of tsunami

So I'm furiously skirting the borders of suspension in order to make my followers go exponentially ballistic- getting slapped hourly on limiting my activities, then hitting the wall of 2000 following without commensurate 2000 followers- I had to endlessly go through my extensive lists and memorize who was not reciprocating and joyously zap'em (which is problematic with pre-early onset Alzheimer's)…. 

It was driving me batty that is until I tripped over Tweepi who it seems did all the work for me if I only tweet that I used the service ( whereupon I would immediately delete the uncool Tweet) - with that in place I'm back at a healthy ratio of F'ers to F'ings in no time.

Now it's a double edged challenge as the majority of Followers speak Asian so I can tweet about green sebaceous gland oozings from discreet orifi without any backlash-

 But how can I display my swordmen's wordplay when I know next to nothing about making burritos and chimichangas… I should probably hit a million Followers in the next week or two but my chances of getting discovered remain foreign.