Confused, Bemused and Not Amused
Hmmm, can you clear up afew things for me?
There are a few thingshappening lately that I find confusing. Actually, if I am being honest, thereare a whole lot of things going on in the world today that bewilder me. Thenumber of things that do not make sense far outweigh the ones that do. Here arejust a few examples.
How is it that NHLplayers, making a million, five million or even 10 million dollars a year,shoot wide as often as they hit the target? It is a 6 foot x 4 foot target, forGod’s sake! It has to be more difficult to missit than to hit it. They should have$1,000 deducted from their mega salaries for each shot that goes wide.
Why does the price ofgas bounce up and down like Mexican jumping beans? I sort of (not really)understand fluctuations based on supply chain issues. But that does not explaina price graph that resembles the EKG of a man repeatedly hit by lightningbolts. I am inclined to believe it is a daily throw at dart at the dartboard exercise in terms of setting theprice.
Why do politicians spendtheir time in the legislature behaving like 10 year olds with ADHD who hadtheir Hallowe’en candy stolen by the other party? Surely our elected officialsare capable of better behaviour.
I suggest we put inplace a system where MPs and MPPs are required to react responsibly andrespectfully for three days a week. The other two days they can fight, squabbleand pontificate to their heart’s content. That seems more than reasonable tome.
Why do Call Centreskeeping dialing my number over and over and over again when I never answer ifit is a phone number I do not recognize. Do they honestly think they will wearme down and convince me to have my ducts cleaned? I would have to remove thedead bodies I am hiding there. Where else could I put them?
Why do people run redlights and risk killing themselves, me and the people riding with us? Is itthat critical for you to get where you are going ten minutes earlier? You mayhave a death wish or enjoy dancing with death on a daily basis. I happen tohave a healthy respect for my life. Red means STOP for a reason. Use the brakes– that’s why you have them.
Why does the 6:00 newsrepeat the same story three days in a row and half a dozen times in threeweeks? Interviewing a different person each time does not make it a new story.Stop flogging the dead horse. There is no shortage of news to report on.
Why are there hundreds of television channels when the same programs play on five separate channels? Am I supposed to spin the roulette wheel and pick which channel to watch? Do I get a prize if I pick the right one? A new car or an all expenses paid vacation down south would be nice.
So much of what goes onin the world today does not make sense to me. Am I the only sane person left?Or does it all make sense to everyone else and I am the oddball? It would notbe the first time I found myself in that position.
If I am the guy on the outside looking in – the fish out of water, I guess I am doomed to be confused, bemused and not amused. I may have to up my alcohol intake to cope.
~ NowAvailable Online from Amazon, Chapters Indigo or Barnes & Noble: HuntingMuskie, Rites of Passage – Stories by Michael Robert Dyet
~ Michael Robert Dyet is alsothe author of Until the Deep Water Stills – An Internet-enhanced Novel whichwas a double winner in the Reader Views Literary Awards 2009. Visit Michael’swebsite at www.mdyetmetaphor.com or the novel online companion at www.mdyetmetaphor.com/blog .
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