Teaching children to share with Dot and Duck

How Selfish! by Clare Helen Welsh, illustrated by Olivier Tallec(Happy Yak, 2022)Good to Read for:Exploring friendshipLearning to shareThe funny charactersPicture books are fantastic tools for parents and carers. They teach valuable life lessons and skills that help your children thrive.

Usually, those lessons are subtle and nuanced, though sometimes – notably in Richard Scarry’s work – it’s more overt. His biography (The Busy, Busy World of Richard Scarry) remarks how his books ‘usually contain many reminders that children should be polite and well-behaved, wipe their feet, say please and thank you, and in general observe the rules of courteous conduct.’ The problem with this, of course, is that ‘the rules of courteous conduct’ vary wildly between families and cultures. 

    

Being unselfish is universally regarded as a positive trait. My recommendation today tackles the theme (and the consequences of behaving selfishly) head-on via a clash between two friends, Dot and Duck in How Selfish! by Clare Helen Welsh and Olivier Tallec (Happy Yak, 2022).

What are they fighting over? One of the most prized playthings – a stick, of course!

   

My kids could amuse themselves for hours with a good stick. On one memorable trip (when Noah was only just three years old), it became a multitude of exciting items that triggered his imagination.

   

(In a similar fashion, a discarded length of wooden baton became slides for play people – and even a tool for catching termites!)

   

So the fact that two friends might fall out over something so mundane as a stick is plausible and relatable. Both friends see its potential - the problem is that they can’t agree on what that is!

 

“Look, a stick!”

“Let’s make a flag…”

“No, that’s my sword.”

How selfish!

   

Not only that, but Dot refuses Duck’s suggestion of sharing.

How Selfish is told almost entirely with snappy dialogue. This suits the story well, allowing the characters to exchange witty banter as they struggle to share with their playthings:

 

“Swap the flag for a rabbit?”

“That’s MY toy!”

“The flag for a game?”

“Give me back MY ball!”

How selfish!

   

Without Tallec’s expressive characters, this wouldn’t be possible. They deliberately tell far more of the story, making How Selfish! an excellent example of why picture books are such an effective medium. In a way, they’re like little movies. You don’t need constant narration to explain the story. Like good actors, the body language and expressions of well-drawn characters will do the work. And Dot and Duck capture the average day of a preschooler brilliantly!

 

“But I want the flag…”

“Too late. It’s gone.”

 

Duck resorts to playing the ace. It’s a phrase every kid knows, and it’s timed so perfectly with the page turn that I laughed out loud:

 

“I’m telling on you…”

   

Uh-oh! The fatal words stop Dot dead in their tracks. 

Desperate times mean desperate measures.

 

“No! Wait! Don’t tell!

I’ll share the toys…

Have ALL the toys! Have whatever you want!

But NOT the sword!”

 

Their bickering continues. Eventually, Duck appears to have won the battle by ending up with the prized stick. But wait a minute – now they’re using it as a sword to fend off Dot…

 

How…selfish…

 

Tallec’s illustrations convey the characters’ shared sadness and regret (and the bitter truth that nobody won).

Life without the other is boring and lonely. 

 

If only there was someone to play with…

   

Ultimately, Duck solves the problem by breaking the stick in two: SNAP!

Dot and Duck can now share the stick, which (in its divided state) can be both a flag AND a sword! It’s a compromise that solves the problem without merely resorting to taking turns. But like many kids, Dot and Duck are contrary creatures and appear to have changed their minds about what they want the stick to be! It’s a satisfying twist and they exchange sticks in a moment of harmony. (“A sword! How exciting!”/“A flag! How thoughtful!”). 

Finally, the friends can get down to the serious business of playing together:

 

“Dot and Duck forever!”

How fun!

   Learning to navigate childhood friendships is tricky. And picture books like How Selfish! are there to help.

Dot and Duck’s friendship is believable. They have their ups and downs, but their relationship is robust – and this picture book realistically reflects that.

(Other picture books that do this well – including the hilarious Elephant & Piggie books by Mo Willems – are listed at the end.)

There may be a lack of apologies in How Selfish! – but young readers are left with no doubt that being unkind and selfish hurts their friends. Instead, Dot and Duck model the benefits of kindness and compromise and reveal how sometimes boredom and loneliness can be countered by inviting someone into a game and sharing a toy. 

Dot and Duck’s friendship is believable. They have their ups and downs, but their relationship is robust and kids can relate to that. They quickly learn that friendships are complicated – the fact that this is reflected in the story will be reassuring. 

Perhaps most importantly, How Selfish! teaches children the value of kindness. If they can master that, they’ll go a long way in life!

Tips for sharing How Selfish!

Look at the expressive characters and discuss how they feel. By helping your child step into the characters’ shoes, you develop their empathy.

Teach your child problem-solving skills by brainstorming some other ways for Dot and Duck to share the stick (without resorting to snapping it in two).

Go on a walk, find some sticks and encourage some imaginative play!

STORIES WORTH SHARINGHow Selfish! by Clare Helen Welsh, illustrated by Olivier Tallec(Happy Yak, 2022)Good to Read for:Exploring friendshipLearning to shareThe funny charactersCopyright © 2022 Clare Helen Welsh (Text) & Olivier Tallec (Illustrations)From HOW SELFISH! by Clare Helen Welsh & Olivier Tallec(Happy Yak)Richard Scarry illustrations from The Busy, Busy World of Richard Scarry by Walter Retan / Ole Risom | © Richard Scarry CorporationSketches © 2002 Tim WarnesGOOD TO READBest picture books about the complexities of friendship

A Bedtime for Bear by Bonny Becker & Kady MacDonald Denton

Narwhal’s Otter Friend | A Narwhal and Jelly Book by Ben Clanton

The Rabbit Listened by Cori Doerrfeld

The Boy With Flowers in his Hair by Jarvis

Sorry! by Norbert Landa & Tim Warnes

This Is Our House by Michael Rosen & Bob Graham

On Sudden Hill by Linda Sarah & Benji Davies

DANGEROUS! by Tim Warnes

I Love My New Toy! | An Elephant & Piggie Book by Mo Willems

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“[Kids] will love the snappy dialogue and humorous drawings”– The Telegraph
“My daughter…completely understood the emotions and significance…[B]rilliantly simple and easy for children to relate to.”– Amazon review buy uk buy us * I EARN COMMISSION FROM THESE LINKS #AD/AFFRELATED ARTICLESSOURCESHow Selfish! by Clare Helen Welsh, illustrated by Olivier Tallec (Happy Yak, 2022)The Busy, Busy World of Richard Scarry by Walter Retan / Ole Risom (Harry N. Abrams 1997)Are you stuck for quality stories that you and your kids will enjoy? 

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