How to be Happy

Honest confession: I caught myself S P I R A L I N G this week. My anxiety and a feeling of being overwhelmed transformed into self-hatred. I felt so defeated and helpless. I scheduled a therapy appointment and then started journaling, and I did begin to feel better. Being proactive definitely helped, but I really to stop (or at least slow) my depression before it threatens to paralyze me.

I went to Google and I *literally* typed in “how to be happy.” I actually found a fantastic article from Healthline.com by Ann Pietrangelo that offers practical habits you can start implementing RIGHT NOW to improve your mental health! It’s not for a major lifestyle overhaul; just a “few tweaks to your regular habits.” There are daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly tips for boosting your seratonin and being happier.

What really struck me, though, was the realization that my anxiety and depression were worsened by the absence of these practices; I’m not taking care of myself. That’s not good, but that means by just starting to take care of myself, I am doing something about the insecurities and negative self-talk. My emotions don’t have to ambush my rational, logical thoughts or stifle my creativity and productivity. I already wrote an extensive blog post about the link between creativity and mental health.

Regardless of your version of true happiness, living a happier, more satisfied life is within reach. A few tweaks to your regular habits can help you get there.

Ann Pietrangelo

DAILY HABITSSmile
Did you know that smiling causes the brain to release dopamine, which makes us happier? I didn’t and to be honest, I’m skeptical about that being a foolproof way to be happier. But that notion is supported by the “facial feedback hypothesis”: facial expressions may have a modest effect on emotions. I’m going to try smiling at myself in the mirror every morning.Exercise
UGH. I KNOW. I’ve been trying desperately to get back into an exercise routine. “Regular exercise can help reduce stress, feelings of anxiety, and symptoms of depression while boosting self-esteem and happiness. Even a small amount of physical activity can make a difference.” I’m going to take a walk around the block every night after dinner, start incorporating yoga into my daily schedule, and start my days with five minutes of stretching.Get plenty of sleep
This is what I struggle with the most. Adults on average should get at least seven hours of sleep at night. AND I KNOW I’m not hitting that mark. Luckily, the article has some great tips:
– track sleep! Use an app or a journal and write down how many hours of sleep you got and how rested you feel.
– go to bed and wake up at the same time every day, even on weekends.
– reserve the hour before bed to relax and avoid heavy drinking and eating.
– keep your bedroom dark and cool and quiet.
– invest in good bedding.
– limit naps to 20 minutes.
But if none of these tips work, you should see a doctor. This may be where I’m at, unfortunately. I haven’t had good sleep in a long, long time.Eat with mood in mind
For me, this was the coolest part of the article!
– Carbohydrates release seratonin, but keep foods high in sugar and starch (simple carbs) to a minimum because the energy surge they provide is short and you’ll crash. Vegetables, beans, and whole grains (complex carbs) are better.
– Protein-rich foods like lean meat, poultry, legumes, and dairy can boost energy and concentration because they release dopamine and norepinephrine.
– Omega-3 fatty acids, like those in fatty fish, can have anti-inflammatory effects that extend to overall brain health.
– HIGHLY PROCESSED OR DEEP-FRIED FOODS TEND TO LEAVE YOU FEELING DOWN AND SO WILL SKIPPING MEALS. Unfortunately, this has been my modus operandi as of late. The article recommends starting small, making one food choice for mood a day and then adding in a new one each week. That seems doable.Practice gratitude
I have been doing this ever since Maddie didn’t die. That’s a HUGE thing to be grateful for, but we can start with the small stuff, too. I’m grateful for the way the moonlight shines on the water and for nights when I can sleep with the windows open. For example Give a compliment
This makes perfect sense to me. Just imagine how you feel receiving compliments. A couple of coworkers complimented on my new style since returning from Ireland, and it’s emboldened me to make fun fashion choices. I will pay it forward, for sure.Breathe deeply
This seems like a wonderful place to start. This has been a big part of my new novel, as well. My protagonist suffers from anger issues and uses breathing techniques to calm down.Acknowledge unhappy moments
But let them pass. I like to wallow, but I need to stop doing that.KEEP A JOURNAL!!!
I have been doing this for years and cannot recommend it enough.Face stress head-on
Some people claim they do their best work when they procrastinate. I am not one of those people. I need to do this more often; face the inevitable and plan instead of panic.AVOID COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS
– Name your inner critic so those negative thoughts can detach from you and belong to someone else.
– Be your own best friend
– Keep a record of your achievements
– Practice self-care
– BE PROACTIVEWEEKLY HABITSDeclutter
Just 15 minutes a day of tidying up a specific area and a 5 minute walkthrough can help prevent anxiety caused by mess. My car needs to be cleaned and my rental could be tidied up. I need to do that soon.See friends
I want to do this more often.Plan your week
I LOVE PLANNERS! I use them all the time.DITCH YOUR PHONE!!!
Since the pandemic, I’ve become grossly dependent on my phone. I scroll for hours, mindless, and I get nothing done. And social media makes anxiety and depression so much worse.GET INTO NATURE!!!
I’m going hiking as soon as my schedule allows.Meditation
I purchased the Calm app before Maddie’s accident so I’ve understandably fallen out of using it regularly. I was doing the meditation course and should try to get back into using it.Therapy
I scheduled my first appointment. I’ve had a rough two years and instead of burdening loved ones or trying to soldier on alone, I’m going to get professional help.Self-care ritual
On Sunday nights, I used to give myself a manicure and pedicure and a green tea facial. I stopped doing a lot of these things and taking care of myself but it’s time to do it again.MONTHLY HABITSGive backTake yourself out
Spend time alone deliberately; I take myself to the movies. I also like eating pancakes at the diner.Make a thought list
Write and memorialize the positive thoughts.YEARLY HABITSReflect
Make an honest inventory of your life.Reevaluate your goals
Do I get my doctorate? Do I buy a house? Do I publish a third book?TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY!!!Let go of grudges
I just did this today, and I’m telling you, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.Plan a trip
I’m going to Ireland in January … but then what?

Reading the article, I learned taking care of my physical health will automatically improve my mental health, so being happier is not an overwhelming, impossible task.

Are you happy? Are you going to try any of these tips? Let me know in the comments!

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