"Get Out of Jail Free Card"

A college friend recently asked me to send a little joy his way. He'd been in a horrible accident. Sitting stopped at a red light on his motorcycle, he was mowed down by a drunk driver going 60.

Once you get past the miracle of making it through such an accident, you have to deal with the nitty gritty of getting back to living. As I write, he's still in a rehab facility. He'll get to go home soon, yet the long road of recovery is many months.

We all experience the "emotional roller coaster" sometime throughout our lives, yet some experience it with such gravity-defying heights and sudden twisting stomach-turning drops that would leave me panting and puking.

I've never had a near death experience. Don't really want to. I've met people who have. They say it's a gift.

They liken it to a "get out of jail free" card. A hall pass to let go of all the shoulds, duties, and expectations. We get so hung up living life to please others or get stuck in the rut of living life on auto pilot. An illness or an accident can be a wake up call and hand you a free pass to live life head on.

If you want to quit your job and do something else, do it. If you want to travel to exotic locations, do it. If you want to run for political office, do it. If you want to grow a beard and a ponytail, do it. If you want to take ballet lessons, do it.

I imagine that if one is lying in a rehab bed, the barrage of thoughts that run through the head would include "What do I want to do now with the rest of my life?"

People who have come out on the other side of illness or accidents often have a deeper peace. They start listening to that inner voice deep inside. All the years of playing roles and getting wrapped up in what society/our peers/our family thinks can be released.

The biggest freedom comes when we stop caring what other people think. When you face death head on, what others think of you is not a top priority in your mind.

People who have gone through it may start conversations with "After the accident, I really started living." "After the illness, I really knew what mattered to me." "After I went through rehab, I decided I wanted to…."

Guess what?

Most of us don't get that opportunity handed to us. Most of us don't face illness or accident. You don't need to go through something like that to start living from your inner voice, your IV. You can choose right here, right now, to live like you want to.

Really, what are you waiting for? Do you need to get sick or get in an awful accident before you start paying attention to you and what your heart is telling you?

The way to approach life for maximum enjoyment is to live from a place of gratitude. Be grateful for everything you have now. Start and end each day with appreciation. I knew my friend was okay, and going to be okay, when his first email started out with a humorous approach to explaining he was in an accident. Today he's grateful for the return of normal bodily functions.

A sense of humor, even in the darkest moments, helps healing. A sense of gratitude, even in the darkest hour, helps growth.

I don't wish accidents or illness on anyone. I don't wish anyone to go on robot-like, living life with the blinders on either.

Every day, we all have a choice. How are we going to live? What are you waiting for? I hereby give you permission to live life your way. Here is your hall pass. You are free from others' expectations. It's between you and you. Put your hand on your heart and ask: What sounds good?