One Big Key to a Healthy Grief Process

There are several important components to a healthy grief process.

One big key is acceptance.

Grieving hearts need to be seen and heard. We long for and need the acceptance of others on this difficult and painful road.

Sadly, we often don’t feel accepted or supported by those around us.

Unfortunately, many of us don’t give ourselves this gift of acceptance either.

If you’re anything like me, you can be hard on yourself at times.

How about you? Do you tend to be hard on yourself?

Our natural is tendency, when we’re feeling something that’s unpleasant or difficult, is to do the old “fight, flight, or freeze” routine. The trouble is that feelings are meant to be felt. The only way “out” of them is “through” them.

So, we work on accepting ourselves as we are, in the moment.

“I’m anxious. I’m struggling right now. And that’s okay.“

“I’m afraid something else terrible is going to happen. I feel like a mess. And that’s okay.“

“I feel so sad today. I have good reason to be sad. And that’s okay.”

“I feel overwhelmed and so, so tired. And that’s okay.”

When we accept ourselves in the moment, it frees us up to feel these grief emotions. Once we acknowledge what’s happening inside us, it’s often like the pressure within gets released.

Here’s a question I’ve found helpful: “Does what I’m feeling / experiencing match what I’m going through (the loss I’ve experienced)?”

Most of the time, my answer to the above question is, “Yes, it certainly does.”

This process is hard. It’s painful. It’s difficult and extremely challenging. How could it not be?

When we accept ourselves as we are in the moment, we live more in the reality of the moment.

This is one more way we can be kind to ourselves in all this.

The next time a grief burst comes, or you feel an uncomfortable, heavy emotion, try telling yourself, “I’m feeling _____________. And that’s okay.”

Our well-practiced fight-flight-freeze combo often keeps us stuck and frustrated. We fare much better when we accept ourselves (as best we can) in the moment.

Be kind to yourself today. Give yourself grace. Accept yourself.

Be kind to other grieving hearts today. Can anyone you know benefit from this article? Send it to them.

I’m glad we’re in this together.

“Accept one another, just as God in Christ has accepted you.” – Romans 15:7

Question: Do you tend to be hard on yourself? What might help you accept yourself more in the moment? Feel free to comment.

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