The Fiver | Kylian Mbappé and an earworm that is not music to PSG’s ears

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Kylian Mbappé did a penalty against Benfica on Tuesday night, and it made him the all-time leading Big Cup goalscorer for Paris Saint-Germain. Setting aside the fact that it’s a statistic worth the square root of eff all – for the record, he’s now scored 31 eurogoals for les Rouge-et-Bleu, one more than PSG’s other Big Cup nearly man Edinson Cavani, but really, whatever – that should have been the big story of the evening. However, the mood music around Mbappé drowned all of that out … much to The Fiver’s chagrin, given his name is effectively an instant Hanson earworm, and if we have to suffer it then so do you. Ba doo ba doo mmm bop ba doo ba doo do doo mmm baby shark. You’re welcome.

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