The ADHD is Strong in This One

For those of you who have reached out over the this past year, I am still alive! Mostly. Apologies for dropping off the face of the earth. It’s my new survival tool. Disappear and you don’t have to deal with anything. I do not recommend it–it didn’t work. I truly appreciate the messages and inquiries and mentions of my next book in the Crossing Dagger Series … a book that has slowly been draining me right along with all the other things in life.

My face most days:
1 part laughing, 2 parts shock, all parts appreciative for this beautiful life.

I had to take a time out – a BIG timeout – to focus on myself and my family. Oh, and to still be a good employee at my full time job. I got Covid for the first time and my brain has hardly lifted out of the fog. Like it has for many others, operating in this “Post-Pandemic World” (whatever that means) has been challenging. I’ve struggled with anxiety and, earlier this year, halfway through my lifespan, was diagnosed with ADHD, minus the H with some bipolar tendencies. No one was surprised, really, but still. Shit got real.

Available on Amazon.

Trying to regroup and find enjoyment, I paused the romance writing completely. I spent months getting things off my plate, as best I could. Hesitant to be medicated, I did find that it was necessary to take something just to function. Once I felt I was in a good place, my brother and I spent time working on redoing our book and releasing it under a better cover and a better name.

Post Traumatic Texts has a nice ring, don’t you think? Honestly, it was fun to work on this little paperback–so fun that I didn’t want to do anything else. Full disclosure: it was published years ago under the title, We’re Not Write. It’s better now, but still an experiment in comedy without purpose other than making people laugh.

We’ve also started developing a podcast, Grown & Disowned. Who knows if we’ll get it off the ground with any success, but it has been hella fun to work on. I managed to create a halfway decent intro. You can listen to it on this Grown & Disowned blog post.

My coworkers and I also decided to start a podcast. We haven’t gotten far but I’m into it. I spent an entire day making covers for the two podcasts that I don’t actually have going. I think I did well on them. I also think I didn’t do anything else for 12 hours I played around online.

Are you sensing a theme? I want to do all the things now. Therefore, none of them are fully getting done. So here I am, back on my romance author blog, writing about everything else I’ve been doing. I have found that writing these things out gets them out of my brain so I can focus on other stuff. Is that ADHD? I assume yes. But I’m tired of going down the Google rabbit hole so I’m just rolling with it.

I spent this morning revisiting the series I had started and failed to finish. I loved writing Shadow’s Lyric, and I wrote it pretty fast (hence the typos–ha!). Shadow’s Raven has been far more challenging, which I’ve written about before. But, with the help of a friend, I’ve written the outline for the rest of the novel. I’m probably 2/3 of the way through and will keep hacking away at it, assuming I don’t get distracted by all the other things I have found enjoyable.

Ultimately, my ADHD will always be doing its thing to some degree. So I had a moment where I decided I could fill “all the things” with stuff that brought me joy, or stuff that stressed me out. Podcasts and writing bring me joy. Even after being drained from worrying over Shadow’s Raven, the story still makes me happy when I think of it. So I’m going to finish it and if it can’t get it published until next year, then so be it.

I’m making lists and will devote the next week (off from work!) to writing and making podcasts. We’ll see how far I get. My plan is to take things week by week. If I can just do small things and make progress, then I’m already doing better than I was.

Thank you for sticking with me and for reading the things that come out of my head. I’ll endeavor to do better and get shit going once more. ADHD is an asshole, but sometimes its also manically creative. I just wish I could choose when it’s each.

Until next time, Happy Fall, y’all!

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Published on October 11, 2022 12:54
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