Swan Of The Week (2)

Returning to work on a Monday morning can be dispiriting enough without unanticipated transportation difficulties. In forty years of commuting by train I have been subjected to almost the whole lexicon of lame excuses for the train I am on coming to a halt or taking an unexpected (and always longer) detour to my ultimate destination. However, this is a new one on me.

Around 8am last Monday morning commuters using the South Western Railways (SWR) train services in the Staines area found that the trains had come to a juddering halt. The reason – a swan had decided to sit on the line and refused to move. Needless to say, they were unimpressed by the bird swanning around, especially as it caused delays in excess of an hour.

Eventually, a Network Rail Wessex employee aped Nicholas Angel in the 2007 comedy Hot Fuzz and captured the swan and put it into a bag to be taken to a sanctuary for a well-earned rest. Trains were then able to get back to normal, subject only to the usual points failures, occupied platforms, and wrong types of leaves on the line, but another excuse has now added to the train conductor’s manual.

Swans belong to the Monarch and there is no truth in the rumour that the bird’s sit-down strike was in protest over the change to its ownership.