I’m not boring. You’re just bored!

I’ve always been called boring. Less so in adulthood, but many times in my developing years. As an introverted, shy girl, I was “boring” to many of my more extroverted peers and family members. But it took me to reach my 27th year to realise that I’m not boring. Not at all!

I’m not boring just because you are bored.

I am not boring because I am not entertaining enough for you.

I am not here to entertain you. I am not here to be a thing of fascination and intrigue for you.

I am just me. And that’s perfectly great.

Some people are just easily bored. They need to constantly be doing, doing, doing. Always entertained. Never a quiet moment. Never sitting still. That’s fine. Do you!

But don’t turn around and call people boring for not wanting to do what you’re doing. For not being a constant source of entertainment for you. For not living as you think they should.

The definition of boring is: not interesting; tedious.

This definition does not, in any way, define me! See this list of just some of the things that I am interested in and enjoy. This list is long and in no way boring or lacking in interest. I for one love my own company. I am not easily bored in my own company.

Getting away from me for a minute, this is actually a very eye-opening realisation. Just because you’re bored doesn’t mean the thing you’re doing, or person you’re with, is boring (necessarily). Boredom, or something being defined as boring, is subjective. Just like if something is beautiful or not. Clever or not. Fun or not. It depends on the individual. It could depend on the day or mood or time or whatever else. Watching Harry Potter is enjoyable for me. Is it the same level of excitement as years before? No. Over the years, it’s become more repetitive and therefore a little less enjoyable (only a little!). Does that mean that Harry Potter may one day become objectively boring? Of course not!

I think people forget that feeling bored is an emotion. It’s a lack of stimulation. A lack of focus. A lack of joy. All things that you shouldn’t need or seek in other people. Being easily bored is a bit worrying, anyway. It may mean you are the boring one, who is unable to entertain yourself! Just saying!

It could be a problem in our modern world, too. We have so much at our fingertips that our attention spans and satisfaction with life have become poor. We need things to be fast and easy. We need it NOW. We need it ALWAYS. We seek dopamine in high doses. This is a world of social media, endless reels, endless TikToks, and binge-watching television. We have things delivered to our doorstep. We can date people by swiping left or right! No wonder people get bored easily. Everything is too easy, so hard work or depth or connecting seems boring and too difficult.

It’s actually healthy to be bored sometimes. Research shows that we are more creative and innovative when given space to be bored and think. So maybe resisting boredom isn’t a good thing. And maybe we need to question where our boredom really stems from.

Thoughts to takeaway:

When do I feel bored and why?Do I allow myself to be bored sometimes?Am I easily bored? Why might this be?Do I rely on other people to keep me from feeling bored?

This was just a quick one to share my realisation about something I’ve wrestled with for years. I hope it sheds some light on something for you, too. And if you, like me, have been called boring, it might not be about you at all! It’s not your job to entertain people.

Sincerely,

S. xx