Deep Fried Insanity While Trying To Lose Weight

The world’s going crazy with deep fried foods. I don’t know if the infatuation comes from the state fairs bringing in their food trucks with everything deep fried from butter to Coke or if it’s from jonesing at home with all the latest deep frying gadgets.

Anyone trying to lose weight is beat. How can we stay focused when a fried Oreo is within our reach? It’s literally in our nature to eat it. That’s how we got the way we did in the first place.

There is no arguing deep frying foods is the way to go. I’ve watched full turkeys get cooked in less than an hour. That’s microwave type magic. No more putting a turkey in the oven at night and waiting until the next day for it to be thoroughly cooked inside and out. Deep fried turkey is juicy and mouth-watering when it comes out about an hour later.

That’s the upside.

What’s the downside? Deep frying is extremely fun to do, which means more applications are being invented as we speak, and it has my clogged veins written all over it. It’s no big deal. I’ll start my diet tomorrow.

Of course, I have always enjoyed some deep fried mushrooms, cheese sticks, shrimp, and regular foods that only normal people would think of dropping in a fryer full of lard. Those are the things I had grown to love and expect from a deep fryer. But then, people just started going nuts.

Deep Fried Cheesecake

Knowing that cheesecake exists in this world gives me a warm feeling that some part of humanity understands me. But deep fried cheesecake is on a whole other level. I have never had it before but I know I have to have a bite someday. A bite will lead to two and that will lead to all of them, but who’s squabbling over the fine details?

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Deep Fried Mayo

I am not lying. There is a thing called Deep Fried Mayo and I don’t know who eats it. I love mayonnaise but not a big gulp of it like it’s some kind of dessert.

I first heard about it watching an episode of Tosh.0 when Daniel Tosh cracked a joke about Mayo Balls. I laughed because I thought it was something disgusting he made up. Well, I was wrong. They exist and people shove them in their faces like they’re eating donut holes.

Deep Frying Coke

Now you’re probably thinking, “No, Mike. They don’t do that. Do they?”

I’m sorry to say, but yes they do. Some genius found a way to get the Coke inside an edible ball of deep fried breading. Science?

I don’t know what you call that, but the chef went above and beyond. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. I’m going to have to give them a try and reserve my judgment until I do. But I would say that’s taking deep fried as far as you can take it.

Now, someone will prove me wrong.

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