What turns you on/off? Part 1: In a friend

As an indie writer, I need to be aware of differences in personality in order to make sure that all of my work does not have the same main character.  I thought it would be fun to share the different things I like and don't like, and then ask you to let me know yours.  This will be broken into different blogs. Today I am talking about what traits make you want to associate with someone and what traits make you want to bop them in the mouth or run away.

One of my biggest turn-offs in regard to hanging with someone is inability to make a decision. Come on, man, choose! I can understand something huge and life changing needing a bit of thought, but what ice cream flavor to get?  This is not going to make or break the rotation of the planet. I find myself avoiding hesitant people as much as possible. For me, their inability to make a decision is like fingernails on a chalkboard.

I will admit that I make decisions too quickly at times.  That has caused some big mistakes in my life.  On the other hand, I learned some valuable things from those mistakes.  The things I learned help me make similar decisions better - and still quickly! If someone thinks so little of their ability to choose that they fool around for a substantial amount of time, I am outa there.  By the time they finally choose ice cream, I have had a cone, a night's sleep, and have worked a full day.

How about people that have to go into extreme detail?  I don't care to know the color and pattern of the drapes in your Aunt's home.  Just cut to the broken leg. Can you tell that I am a person that likes things to move along?

Liars also drive me crazy. What is the point about lying about what you had to eat last night? Or what clothes you bought last Saturday?  I don't get it.  Then, when you point out that they said one thing, but did another, guess what?  They are offended and ask if you are calling them a liar.  Yes!  I am!


Oh God...don't get me started with braggers.  ZZZZZZZZZ.  Need I say more?



What turns me on to a friendship? Someone who knows who they are, but does not shove it down my throat.  They express their opinion and then listen to mine.  Listening is a rare gift few of us have learned.  I know I could stand some improvement there.  I bet almost all of us could.

I also like people who don't treat service workers rudely.  People who are not the loudest person in the bar or restaurant.  And people who actually remember to ask about life events that come up. In other words, I like people who treat others like they want to be treated. 

Most of all, I like people who have an open mind and are inquisitive about where we come from, why we are here and where we are going. That makes for interesting conversations and wonderful possibilities.


What about you?  What traits appeal to you and which ones don't?