The Fiver | Erling Haaland moving on from mere goals into the realm of pastiche

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Given how Chelsea owner and 70s CBS News anchor Todd Boehly sacked his last manager for not being four-square behind his in-no-way-scattergun summer spending spree, it was pretty brave of Graham Potter to bench both Kalidou Koulibaly and Wesley Fofana for the Big Cup game against Salzburg. The centre-backs were an integral part of Boehly’s holistic trolley-dash, so a shiny bronze cent for the bellicose billionaire’s thoughts when the preferred Thiago Silva aquaplaned off to Fulham Broadway, allowing Junior Adamu to tee up Noah Okafor for the equaliser that may – just may – end up costing Chelsea a place in the knockout stage. Chelsea were booed off. Oh Graham! Is a 75-minute honeymoon some sort of record?

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