Word of the Week #337:
How you make amends after making a mistake reveals a lot about you. And in my opinion, not everyone knows how to make amends.
What do people normally do when they are at fault? Rather, what do they do when they are accused of being at fault?
Far too often, they will deny any wrongdoing. They will make excuses. They will get defensive.
If not that, then they will just try to placate each other with empty gestures, like hollow promises, or meaningless trinkets, or momentary good behaviour.
In the end, nothing really changes, and they keep having the fights over and over again. Their bad behaviour repeats itself over and over again.
Sometimes, I don’t even understand how so many adults fail to see this one simple thing: Just listen!
If you care about someone, and they felt hurt by something you did, just listen!
If someone is feeling disheartened or disappointed or dejected, just listen.
If someone wants to vent their anguish, just listen.
It is not that difficult, and it will always be the first step to any resolution. Only then can you truly make amends, right?
Once you have listened to someone, you can begin to understand what you did wrong. And perhaps it wasn’t wrong from your perspective. Perhaps from your limited, but not incorrect, understanding of the situation, you were right to act the way you did. That is entirely possible, right?
However, once you understand that that action is affecting someone adversely, would you choose to continue doing the same? Or would you consider altering your ways? Would you be willing to sit that person down and talk about your side of the matter and hopefully reach a compromise that you both can live with?
Because in the end, that is the point of making amends, right? A change in behaviour, and a better future?
And it is really not that difficult, is it?
Listen, understand, adjust. Simple.
Unfortunately, too many people are unwilling to do even one of the above, let alone all three.
Sigh.
