Wrapper

“What is this?” Sara said, holding up what looked like a torn, gold piece of a wrapper in front of Joe’s face.

“Looks like a wrapper to me.”

“I found it in your pocket when I was doing laundry,” Sara said.

“Sorry. At least it wasn’t Kleenex this time.”

“Don’t play dumb.”

“I’m sorry,” Joe said, confused. “But I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

 “Don’t lie to me.”

“What is this all about?”

“It’s a condom wrapper.”

“It’s a candy wrapper!”

“Bullshit.”

“I can prove it!”

 “How?”

  And then he remembered. Haribo gummy bears. With golden packaging! He ate some just the other day.  

 “I ate a package of gummy bears the other day.”

“You and your damn candy.”

“I’ll get another bag and you will see it’s the same color!”

“How would that prove that it’s not a condom?”

There was only way to prove it.

Despite never giving her reason any reason not to trust him, she was always suspecting of something he never did.  

The great irony of always being accused of crimes he didn’t commit, of course, is that Joe took great pride by living life by a strong moral code. He didn’t have an ego about it. It was just how he was wired. But for some reason, she thought his holier than thou attitude was just an act. But it wasn’t an act. Or, an attitude.  Pure and simple, Joe was a devoted family man, only drank for social occasions (and never too much), always said no to drugs and most importantly, never cheated on his wife. In fact, his only vice was a voracious sweet tooth, but otherwise ate clean and healthy. And his only vice was the very thing that nearly did him in.

  And now here he was, about to dig through trash to prove his innocence.

He opened up the trash cupboard, before realizing he had already taken the trash outside. Which would mean it would be in his building’s dumpster. At least trash pick-up wasn’t until tomorrow.

He headed outside and proceeded to go through his apartment building’s dumpster. Was he really going to do this?

Yes.

At least it was cold enough to keep things from stinking too much.

Through process of elimination based on bag type and color, he narrowed it down to three likely candidates before finally finding the right one. He immediately began sorting through it until lo and behold: Eureka! He struck gold (wrapper)!

He quickly threw his mess back into the dumpster, then raced back inside to prove his innocence, like the prince with Cinderella’s shoe. 

The pieces were a perfect match. He was acquitted and praised for his efforts to prove his innocence in order to save their marriage.

 That is how much it meant to him.