C is for Carol

 

I didn't read anything in the Blogging from A-Z Challenge that prevented me from putting up more than one post, so here goes.

Carol is my wife. She is a wonderful woman. She must be to put up with me for the last 30-odd years, but he does have some quirks.

She hates books. Since she left school over 50 years ago, she's never read anything other than the gossip pages of the Sunday rags and the TV guide.

Therefore, when she decided to sort out my bookshelves a couple of years ago, I was surprised to say the least. I own somewhere between 500 and 1,000 books and I have a simple system. When I've read it, I put it on the shelves wherever I can find a space. Over the years, the shelves have become two and three deep with books. Carol employed her own system.

"I've put all the big ones at the back and all the little ones at the front."

!!!!

Recently, she decided she wanted to start reading… erotica. So she trawled through the shelves looking for the stuff. Why would a 67-year old woman decide to read soft porn? Search me, but whatever the reason, I bet I'll end up with a bad back and my knees will suffer more wear and tear.

Because she had such a problem finding the erotica (I don't own that much) she decided again to sort out the shelves.

"I've put them together according to category," she reported.

"Good," said I, and promptly found Keith Waterhouse's novel, Office Life lumped with business management, and Stephen King's Duma Key filed under DIY next to hanging doors and changing locks. What's worse, his zombie novel Cell, was ranged alongside Crime & Punishment.

When I asked what she'd done with the Fethering Mysteries, I was told to look under Ornithology, Libby Serjeant has been closeted with Militaria, and Agatha Raisin is with cookery. I don't know where Inspector Morse has got to, but I think it might be with Computer Coding for Beginners.

What was it someone said about the road to Hell?